December 17th, 2014
|08:57 am - Contemptuous Consumption|
A perusal of the Hammacher Schlemmer online catalog last night led Sonya and I to make a lot of sardonic mocking sounds at the wide array of overpriced tchotchkes for the Romney set. After a particularly profane outburst I decided to write my own copy for some of the more egregious examples. I've got a Tumblr thingo up which is posting these sporadically across a few days, but you lucky lot, you get to see a whole bunch first! Wowie! There's a lot of huge images and cussing ahead; we cut because we care.
PS. I didn't edit a single one of the listed prices. For serious.
Ahahahaha this is actually disturbingly close to the copywriting style on woot dot com.
|Date:||December 17th, 2014 02:44 pm (UTC)|| |
standing O, sir.
|Date:||December 17th, 2014 03:08 pm (UTC)|| |
|Date:||December 17th, 2014 03:36 pm (UTC)|| |
I saw that USB paper towel roll yesterday on some website whose theme was essentially "shut up and take my money."
|Date:||December 17th, 2014 06:09 pm (UTC)|| |
This is quality moichandise here. The Sharper Image and Brookstone can go fuck themselves.
|Date:||December 19th, 2014 02:54 am (UTC)|| |
They all live happily together in the great Mall in the Sky.
|Date:||December 17th, 2014 06:58 pm (UTC)|| |
Do we look like car scientists to you?
I shall love this until the end of time or tchotchke catalogues, whichever comes first. Probably time.
|Date:||December 17th, 2014 10:32 pm (UTC)|| |
|Date:||December 18th, 2014 03:50 am (UTC)|| |
Does item #86688
come in any color other than silver? My kitchen is yellow and green and I'd really like to tie the theme together.
|Date:||December 19th, 2014 07:05 am (UTC)|| |
To play devil's advocate on the paper towel holder, if you are the kind of person who owns a standalone paper towel holder, you probably spent at least $20
on it anyway, and a USB charging hub might cost you another $30
, so...maybe you just want to kill two birds with one stone?
Personally, my paper towel dispenser is a piece of string stuck through the roll and attached to the side of a dog pen.Edited at 2014-12-19 07:05 am (UTC)
Our paper towel holder is the floor, because there's absolutely no place we can stash rolls without the cats getting to them unless we want to hang the damn things from the ceiling. The rolls, not the cats. They'd have too much fun playing Pilot To Bombardier hanging from the ceiling.
|Date:||December 23rd, 2014 08:18 pm (UTC)|| |
Wait so the cats have no interest in batting around the roll if it's on the floor, but if it were hung up somewhere they'd be all for it?
Actually if they built in some Bluetooth speakers, that paper towel dispenser would be really handy. I'm always listening to podcasts while I cook, over a device that needs recharging.
|Date:||December 23rd, 2014 08:17 pm (UTC)|| |
If you had one of those Bluetooth speakers that charges via USB, you'd be set.
Happy birthday! Travel light.
These are all hilarious, but it's the last one that really broke me.