We knew this was going to happen for a while now, but wanted to wait until we had survived at least one year together before making it Official. By Official I guess I kind of mean "announcing it to the Internet" but also actually performing a ritual. It's not The Expected Ritual; neither of us are sticklers for tradition, especially for tradition's sake. I did not want to be The Guy and be the only one asking so as to put her on the spot, as we are equals in all that we do. Sonya didn't want any of the traditional engagement stuff involving diamonds, and she also really wanted to propose to me as well. There really was never any question of "who gets to propose to whom". We just Knew.
That is what draws us together, and that is what we celebrate every time we kiss, murmur affectionately to each other, or even just glance over and smile.
We went out for dinner tonight, first at Cambridge Brewing Company for dinner and then The Friendly Toast for dessert. These restaurants were not chosen for any special significance other than the fact that we like eating there. Ascribing anything more would have been superfluous. We have shared plenty of incredible meals together in the past year and we shall have plenty more. After a terrific dinner of duck cassoulet and mussels in a mustard-bacon sauce, plus some nice beers, we sauntered over to the Toast for dessert and drinks.
Here we are sitting at our back corner table at the Toast.
We proposed by swapping books: I gave Sonya a Tom Swift yellowback, and she gave me a second-edition printing of The Lady's not for Burning. They represent strange science and cynics in love, both of which are very dear principles to us. These books are the beginning of our new shared library. Libraries are also very important.
The "Repelatron Skyway" was particularly apt because the Toast features Tom Swift covers on its wallpaper, and no matter where we've sat in the past year we inevitably get to see this one.
Each book is inscribed with The Question, Popped; we accepted by writing responses. I never thought I'd ever propose to someone with a Tom Swiftie, but there you go. (Click to enlarge any of the pics in case you can't make out the writing.)
The appropriate quote from The Lady's not for Burning, one of several, I guess, is this:
JENNET. Fifty years or so and then I promiseWe had the realization last night that while everything will indeed change for us with this, things still do stay the same. We have mostly the same lives, same goals, same feelings as before, but everything has changed. Oh, dichotomy.
To let you go.
THOMAS. Do you see these roofs and spires?
There sleep hypocrisy, porcous pomposity, greed,
Lust, vulgarity, cruelty, trickery, sham
And all possible nitwittery--are you suggesting fifty
Years of that?
JENNET. I was only suggesting fifty
Years of me.
THOMAS. Girl, you haven't changed the world.
Glimmer as you will, the world's not changed.
I love you, but the world's not changed.
There was an exchange of rings, because that symbolism needn't be eschewed for the sake of keeping DeBeers out of our lives and wallets. For the longest time Sonya has had two silver rings in the shape of cats. She's not sure from where she got them or what she planned to do with them, but we found a good use.
Sonya's cats fit nicely in her sundial ring. I am in love with someone who wears a sundial for a ring. Need I elaborate?
Then we celebrated with froofy drinks (the red one has Pop Rocks on the rim!) and a Bananas Foster pancake for dessert. Like you do. Like we do.
Details schmetails will be forthcoming. Except for "sometime in 2014" we have not set a date but we plan to have a small interfaith ceremony for our families with my father and a cantor friend presiding, and then hold a screwball film festival at the Somerville Theater for our friends. How can you pass up the opportunity to hold a wedding with program notes, for crying out loud? Weddings in general give me hives, so I want to make sure everybody who wishes to celebrate with us has the chance to do so, yet without the social obligations that usually go along with that kind of thing (table placements, overly-elaborate RSVPs, registry-related guilt, the Goddamn Chicken Dance.)
The fact of the matter is that I love Sonya very much and she loves me very much and we love who we are together. We wish to share a future together and this is just our way of saying all of that.
Also hey, LJ and how you doin.