Tracy apparently took my cockatoo lamp as a trashpicking challenge and came up with a real topper. Here we see the +12 Sword of Dood on the coffee table next to the house golden apple, which gee_tar bequeathed to us when he moved out.
It has a very ornate hilt and a knob on the end so you can snicker all you want about it.
And a little catch on the hilt unsheathes the mighty SOMETHINGCALIBUR
Local law says it's legal for us to own the sword but not carry or conceal it. This means you won't get any pictures of me trying to awkwardly hide it under a windbreaker, nor of Abbie's knighting. ARISE, SIR ABBIE THE MIGHTY HUNTER, KNIGHT OF THE PEOPLE FOOD TABLE AND GUARDIAN OF THE ORDER OF THE JINGLY COLLAR
Have at thee, treacherous varlet!