Well! Looks like I got me a spam email from an actual spam email company offering to sell me the opportunity to let them spam email for me. (And what're the odds that I'd ironically receive one of my messages, whatever the hell I needed to say, as spam? Anout as close to 1 as you can get, my friend.)
This would hardly warrant a mention were it not for their special Christmas message for me:
Ho Ho Ho...[Mr. S]: I don't know whether to be amused or highly aghast.
Jingle bells, email sells, lead-gen is the way
Let us fill your order book with clients every day
Jingle bells, each sale tells, emailing will pay
Oh what fun it is to sell, on a cold sharp Winter's day
[Miss J.] Why not both?
Yes! Let us strive for that dichotomy. Such opportunities are rare indeed.
I am thinking of actually responding, but not replying directly to the sender nor through the "Unsubscribe" link which is actually run by a third party "unsubscriber" service which, of course, solely exists to verify that hey, this email account is active, let's sign it up for more. I'll use the sales contact email they left. I should point out by the way that based on the phone number they also left, they are located somewhere out of the UK which make them doubly useless to me.
You know, I bet they get a lot of "U SUK" kinds of messages. Don't you? And for all that work! Maybe I should repay this gesture back in kind, and bounce some of their Christmas cheer over to them. Maybe it'd reach that someone who believes they have some kind of a sense of humor. The author! Maybe we'd have one of those amazing moments of connection you can only get on the Internet! Or maybe they'd just continue to spam me and I would end up blocking them, the end.
Hmm. Well, it couldn't hurt to try:
Good derSpatchel just looked out1(Man. The first time around I was trying to rhyme "inbox" and it was just not happening.)
On his box of email
There the junk mail lay about
With one for this here spam sale
Replying to this note you sent:
Though the thought was Yule,
I'm on another continent;
I've no use for your tool.
Anybody wanna join the carolling party? Got any holiday cheer I might could spread their way?
1. I'd actually send them first initial, last name, but you get the idea.