?

Log in

No account? Create an account
I JUST WANTED TO TELL THE NICE PEOPLE ABOUT THE FREE TV - EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> Profile
> FREE ICE CREAM

August 16th, 2010


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
04:12 pm - I JUST WANTED TO TELL THE NICE PEOPLE ABOUT THE FREE TV
Just in case you don't read the davis_square community, I just wrote about how we've put a TV out on the curb for anyone who wants it.

FREE CRT TV on Hall Ave near Davis
For the past five years I have been entertained and informed by an incredible machine that displays pictures and sound together. Now, however, our paths must part, and the television has embarked upon a quest to find a new home. It is currently hitch-hiking on the curb outside 40 Hall Avenue, and you are welcome to come pick it up and take it home for free! Yes, free! Now you too can enjoy hours of fun with your very own 20-something inch television set. Come get it before it rains!

Hall Avenue is a few streets up College Ave from Davis towards Powderhouse. It's a one-way street so if you're driving you'll have to go down Kidder to Liberty to oh just look it up on Google Maps. 40 Hall is a little more than halfway down the street on the right. Look for the television set on the curb. If there is no television set on the curb, then someone took it already. This item is first-come first-served, as intimacy issues prevent me from holding the TV. So don't ask me to.

WOW, WHAT A NEAT TELEVISION
  • Curved cathode-ray screen gives the picture a great retro look without expensive video software
  • Ended a co-dependent relationship with its remote control years ago, but is open to seeing universal remotes
  • Successfully survived the Great Analog-Digital Conversion of 2009 without needing a special box
  • Enjoys Scorcese movies but thinks that Taxi Driver was slightly overrated
  • Has both an "on" and "off" function
  • Won't judge you; is perfectly happy just staying in and spending some quality time together
  • Is free
  • Is a TV
  • Is a free TV

IT HAS A THOUSAND AND ONE HOME USES
  • Makes a great conversation piece ("What's that?" "It's a television." "Oh, okay.")
  • Have fun writing rude words on the screen when it gets dusty
  • Hook it up to a video camera aimed at the screen and gaze into ANOTHER DIMENSION
  • Smash it with things and film it for your student art project
  • Gut the interior and turn it into a fish tank
  • Watch a wide variety of stuff: Comedies, dramas, documentaries, pornography, infomercials, embarrassing home movies, video wills
  • The perfect gift for that friend of yours who's always talking about how they don't own a television


IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER I HAVE TO PUT IN OR ELSE THERE MIGHT BE TROUBLE
Contrary to popular belief, this television set does not contain tiny people who put on the shows you like to watch. I have checked.

ANOTHER BIG THING THAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS AT THE END
THIS TV IS FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED. THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL, THE LOSER HAS TO FALL. THE TV IS OUT ON THE CURB JUST WAITING TO BE TAKEN. I WILL NOT HOLD THE TV FOR YOU, YOUR MOM, YOUR UNCLE, YOUR NEIGHBOR, YOUR LAWYER, OR YOUR PAL CHARLIE WHO HAS A PICKUP TRUCK BUT HE'LL BE UP IN METHUEN ALL DAY BUT HE COULD PROBABLY MAKE IT AROUND 11:30 OR SO TONIGHT. BESIDES YOU DON'T NEED A PICKUP TRUCK FOR THE TV. BYE NOW.

PS. I posted this to Craigslist too so there might be a race

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:phonemonkey
Date:August 16th, 2010 08:48 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I will pay you actual money if you can write one of these about a Communist-era double-bed which opens up so you can store things under where the mattress goes.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:August 16th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Well, you can start with the tag SMUGGLE WHILE YOU SNUGGLE ON THIS COLD WAR COLLECTIBLE
[User Picture]
From:dcart
Date:August 16th, 2010 08:54 pm (UTC)
(Link)
You are a genius.

> Go to Top
LiveJournal.com