I realize it is really really really cold outside, and delivering packages on this day must be a job that you drew the short straw to get, but please at least wait 30 seconds between ringing the third floor apartment bell and leaving the snotty note saying "SORRY YOU WEREN'T IN, WE'LL COME BACK ON MONDAY AND DANCE THIS STUPID DANCE ALL OVER AGAIN."
Because I was in, and I was making my way downstairs when you left. I saw you heading down the walk as I opened the door. God dammit. I swear you ran around the corner when I undid the deadbolt.
I don't even know what's in this package, since I already got the package I was waiting for a few days ago, so I'm gonna be obsessing over this all weekend.
On a side note, I watched The Poseidon Adventure last night and things are still gently swaying back and forth when I sit upright and look at the computer screen. Yes, I was sober. Yes, I still am. I'm just ... swaying.