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it's dwarf fortressy - EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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April 23rd, 2010


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10:51 am - it's dwarf fortressy
Dwarves never forget.

Early on in my latest fun dorfy game I had a bit of a problem with my fortress' broker. A caravan had come to trade but my broker, the expedition leader Boss Ringforded, was having too much fun attending a party in the dining room to bother with trading. Getting the broker to the trade depot can be a pain in the butt as it seems dwarves would rather do any other job, including hauling trash around, before they'd go interact with the out-of-towners. Often you have to remove all job designations from the broker so they'll have nothing to do. Partying is not a job no matter what Boss Ringforded thinks, unfortunately, so you can't keep them from doing it. And they'll only stop when they're good and ready. By that time, the traders might have grown impatient and left.

So I said fine, if Boss Ringforded doesn't want to be broker, I know a certain bookkeeper dwarf who'd be more than happy to take over the job. I removed ol' Boss from the position and gave it to the bookkeeper dwarf, who promptly ran to the trade depot and gave the traders a good deal on a bunch of stone toys. We got all the booze they were carrying, plus a cage with a cow in it. Life went on and it was good.

A year or so later I'd successfully staved off two consecutive goblin invasions by dropping each wave into my Welcome Pit of Spikes and Watery Death, so I set my engravers off to make pretty pictures on the walls around the Retractable Welcome Mat. Often times the pictures they engrave will relate to your fortress' history and I was hoping that they'd brighten up the room a little with cheerful pictures of idiot goblins falling to their doom. Instead they carved pictures of cockroaches, tunics, and this blessed event:



WELL MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SO INSISTENT ON PARTYING DOWN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SACKED


The bugs in this game are still obnoxious and the military is still completely messed up, but when it does something well, it really does it up right.

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:lno
Date:April 23rd, 2010 04:40 pm (UTC)
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I love this game so much but have never had the time to play it sufficiently to feel like I understand wtf I'm doing.

That being said, these stories make me feel good inside, like when the scout leader said I was such a good boy at keeping secrets.
From:life3
Date:April 23rd, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
(Link)
joey-joe-joe junior shabadu linked me to this post. I highly recommend playing with fire and/or giant spiders. Absolutely excellent for engravings.

Also, see: boatmurdered

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