It's just this little chromium switch, here... (derspatchel) wrote,
It's just this little chromium switch, here...
derspatchel

CAT VERSUS ICE CREAM

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

(Mr. S. and Miss V. are sitting on the sofa enjoying tasty ice cream they brought home from JP Licks. Enter THE CAT.)

THE CAT
Hey, that's ice cream.

MR. S.
Yes it is.

THE CAT
I want some.

MR. S.
No.

THE CAT
(getting all up in his face)
I want some.

MR. S.
Sorry. I asked for cat poison ice cream, so I'm afraid you can't have any.

MISS V.
Oh now you're just being mean.

THE CAT
(suddenly deciding MISS V. is his bestest friend in the whole universe)
You have defended my honor. In gratitude, I should get some of your ice cream too.

MISS V.
Oh, here.

(MISS V. carefully takes a little bit of ice cream on her spoon and deftly drips some onto the nose of THE CAT. THE CAT promptly licks the ice cream off his nose and is temporarily satiated.)

MR. S.
Hey, that's a neat trick. Did you pick that up from raising dogs?

MISS V.
Kinda.

THE CAT
(Now returning all up in MR. S' face.)
Okay, your turn.

MR. S.
What the hell, I'll try.

(MR. S. carefully takes a little bit of ice cream on his spoon and attempts to drip some on the nose of THE CAT. He succeeds, but only marginally. He dangles the spoon near THE CAT again for a second flyby.)

THE CAT
Oh, screw this.

(THE CAT lunges with one mighty paw and scores a perfect hit on the spoon. Almost instantaneously, he realizes he has gone and stuck his paw into something REALLY FREAKIN' COLD, and shakes his paw like a fiend. ICE CREAM goes flying EVERYWHERE. On the coffee table, on the couch, on MR. S. and even a little bit on THE CAT.)

MR. S.
OH NICE HIT, WILLIAM TELL

(THE CAT is happily licking ice cream off everything and too busy to care about anything else.)

MISS V.
(Suddenly overcome with a gigglefit the size of Rhode Island)
I think you need more practice.

fin
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