Last night I fell forward and landed in a crouch. Stayed on my feet, but hit that skier's crouch something fierce and went with it all the way to the ground. I pulled my left calf muscle because of it and my left thigh wasn't happy either. But that wasn't so bad.
Then about a half hour ago I was leaving the railroad underpass by Lowell Street, holding two heavy bags of groceries and trying to navigate some nasty runoff water dripping down from ground level. That puddle wasn't a puddle. I fell full force, landing on my left side, twisting my knee and I think scraping my leg up. I can't believe I didn't break anything, though I did remember to exhale as I hit the ground, if by exhaling one means hollering a loud and emphatic "FUCK!" as my grocery bags are slammed to the concrete and I crumple down on the left leg. Took me a few seconds to actually get back up again this time, mostly trying to see clearly and make sure that I could actually walk again.
Winter can officially suck it, and, if anybody wants me, they're gonna hafta wait a few days cause I feel some self-medicating about to happen. Ho ho ho.