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My XBox knows more swear words than I do - EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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September 23rd, 2008


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09:33 am - My XBox knows more swear words than I do
One of the perils of selecting completely awesome band themes and slogans in Rock Band is that the XBox Live service has final say over what you can and cannot use (at least for the 360 version. Unless you want to be a real silly billy and say "They also have online content control over the Wii and PS3 players too! Hee hee hoo!" in which case I'll have to ask you step over here into the Noogie Machine.)

Sure, you can name your band whatever you want and motto-ize yourself accordingly, but XBox Live will prevent it from showing up online. You can still be called Sarah Palin and the Rape Kits in the comfort and privacy of your own system, but nobody online is gonna see that name when you soundly beat everybody in the Heart song challenge -- er, that is, if there was any Heart in Rock Band. (Which is why we keep the GH series around in case we get a jonesing for Crazy On You.)

Rock Band attempts to console you gently if your name doesn't pass XBL's guidelines, by advising you that your name or motto contains elements "which most people would not find 'classy'." Yeah, it's in quotes and everything. It's pretty clear that XBL is the one holding the reins here, and Harmonix is gamely complying but not entirely enthusiastic about it all. The thing to remember here is that XBL removes all whitespace from the string when they do a check against their List Of Naughty Words, and by gum, some of the stuff they've got in there is truly cryptic and arcane.

For instance, my band slogan "Put a camera in front of a bunch of squares and they flip out!" was rejected (and 50 points for you if you immediately guess what I'm doing here.) A quick scrutinizin' of the string showed me ah ha, there it is, "puta", right there in front of us. Well! That one's for all the 13-year-olds who thought they'd be clever and s p a c e their c u s s words o u t to avoid the filter. Attempts to use some synonyms for "put" revealed another level of rejection, this time for the phrase "of a bunch".

"A bunch" was fine, but "of a bunch" was right out. This one I admit stymies me. I checked for foreign-sounding words. Fabun? Ofab? Huh? The closest I got was someone suggesting that according to Urban Dictionary, "fabu" can stand for "fuck a bitch up", but god, that's such a stretch that it's sad. On the other hand, context is king, isn't it? If you can get in trouble in certain parts of the world for using "berk", which at best is abbreviated Cockney rhyming slang and removed far enough from the initial cuss word in question, there's no reason why XBL can't justifiably go after ... acronyms.

Geesh. There's so much you can do with acronyms, which is the sad part. And if XBL is just taking the Urban Dictionary wholesale for use in its verboten words list, we've got bigger problems on our hands as it's not exactly... what's the word? Authenticated. I mean, I could go in there and say that "happy fuzzy bunny feet" means, in da hood, "huge American breasts" and oh there you go, it's on the Internet, so it must be true.

At any rate, I was able to paraphrase my slogan, and "Get a bunch of squares in front of a camera and they flip out!" was accepted and once the new rockband.com is launched, you'll be able to see the band online in their full glory (which is happening in a far-out kind of way.) That it's a paraphrase of a paraphrase doesn't concern me much, and if anybody wants to step with the nitpicking, I could tell you what you could go do to yourself, only I couldn't do it on XBox Live.

So it goes.

(13 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:campion7
Date:September 23rd, 2008 02:22 pm (UTC)
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The closest I got was someone suggesting that according to Urban Dictionary, "fabu" can stand for "fuck a bitch up", but god, that's such a stretch that it's sad.

You mean, all this time Wakko was cussing? I knew there was a reason I loved Animaniacs so much!
[User Picture]
From:mybadhairlife
Date:September 23rd, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
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Before I had to moderate an anonymous UBB for members of my profession, I would have been scornful of this.

Having experienced the stupidity that has come out of the keyboards of supposedly intelligent, well-educated professionals (and their stalkers), I totally understand.

Therefore, I'll just have to chalk it up as another reason why I hate just about everybody.
[User Picture]
From:benevola
Date:September 23rd, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
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We have a band that started life as Crystal Shit, then became Crystal Poo, but xbl didn't like that one either. It's now Crystal Pooh which only conjures up images of Winnie the taking a big crap in the woods--so it's still naughty! Take that, xbl!
[User Picture]
From:ooshiny
Date:September 23rd, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
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Actually, it makes me think that Pooh is a meth-head.
[User Picture]
From:semer
Date:September 23rd, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
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Actually it just makes me envision a really cheezy figurine of pooh bear... like so:

[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:September 23rd, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC)
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This. This ought to be yer band logo, Benevola.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:September 23rd, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC)

driving up from the bahamas

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Have you earned enough from album sales to get your lead singer out of jail?
[User Picture]
From:ratatosk
Date:September 23rd, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC)
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I think "Sarah Palin and the Parental Notification Exceptions" ought to work okay.
[User Picture]
From:dfan
Date:September 23rd, 2008 07:33 pm (UTC)
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It's pretty clear that XBL is the one holding the reins here, and Harmonix is gamely complying but not entirely enthusiastic about it all.

Ayup.
[User Picture]
From:ravenword
Date:September 23rd, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
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I wonder if "of a bunch" is censored because people have used it in lieu of "of a bitch"? Son of a Bunch, etc. That's way lame, though. Waaay lame.
[User Picture]
From:cursethedark
Date:September 23rd, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
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I had a hell of a time getting a band name in the first one, because it shot down most of my standard ones. Yeah, I didn't expect Rape Factory to fly, and I knew enough not to try the Fuck Yeahs. But I was a little surprised that they wouldn't let me use The Hate Parade. Anyway, that's why my band for RB1 is called Conquered, New Hampshire.
[User Picture]
From:mmcirvin
Date:September 24th, 2008 01:26 am (UTC)
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Maybe "ofay"? Obsolete racial insult meaning "white person", probably still included in lists of offensive racial terms.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:September 24th, 2008 03:38 am (UTC)
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I always thought it was spelled "ofey" but hey, whatever.

I guess it also means one's full-on Cracker band imitation wouldn't pass muster, eh?

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