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July 4th, 2008
12:37 pm - one of my favorite Kilborn-era running jokes
All together, now:
Dean Wormer? DEAD!
Marmalard? DEAD!
Jesse Helms...
Those of you who do not live in the United States, be prepared for some gigantic fireworks on your friends list today from your American pals. (Heck, okay, Americans, be prepared too!) I suggest you track the timestamps on people's posts so you can work out a complete chart of who knew and when they found out.
Meanwhile, I won't say nothin' else (other than Happy Birthday, USA!) because I used up enough anger against that bastard ages ago and would like to save any new vitriol for other causes. HOW DARE THEY TAKE AWAY THOSE CRUNCHY MINT M&MS, GODDAMN THEM ALL
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He derailed the freight train of liberalism. By laying down on the tracks. I had to look up the Latin for "Burn in Hell" just for him. Does the mint flavor overwhelm the taint of staleness caused by the crunchies? I can't totally hate on the Helms because his xenophobic and unreasonable changes to foreign worker visas convinced my sister to move home after she had worked in the USA for several years.
So in summary, BRING BACK THE CRUNCHY MINT M&Ms YOU BASTARDS! Who killed him? The Munchkins have flowers and lollipops to hand out. Falwell, deader than dead. Remember: dance first, then piss.
Also, WHY CAN'T THEY EXPORT THOSE AWESOME PEANUT BUTTER M&MS TO EUROPE, GODDAMMIT! |
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