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December 10th, 2003


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10:33 am - OK CAT TOWN
SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN GOOD AND EATEN ALL YOUR VEGETABLES HERE IS ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF



TONIGHT'S EPISODE
THE BIG GAME


CAT TOWN TECH IS HAVING ITS ANNUAL HOMECOMING GAME AGAINST THEIR AGE-OLD RIVALS, LET'S GO OR WE'LL MISS THE FIRST HALF


BRICKA BRACKA FIRECRACKER, SIS BOOM BAH


I'M THE ANNOUNCER WHO IS ALWAYS ANNOUNCING THINGS, AND WELCOME TO THE CAT TOWN TECH HOMECOMING GAME


YAY, GO CAT TOWN TECH FIGHTIN' BROCCOLI


ALL RIGHT TEAM NOW YOU KNOW THE DRILL, WE BREAK ON three AND WE DO ZONE DEFENSE, OK


YOU GOT IT COACH QUARTERBACK


I AM THE UMPIRE


RAH RAH REE, KICK 'EM IN THE KNEE


SO DID YOU SWIPE EL GUAPO'S PLAYBOOK LIKE I ASKED YOU TO


SURE THING BOSS, AND I ALSO STOLE THEIR BROCCOLI MASCOT WHILE I WAS AT IT


I GOT HUNGRY AND ATE THE MASCOT HURR HURR HURR


ALL RIGHT, BREAK AND FORTY-FIVE RED, SEVENTY-THREE BLUE, PURPLE OVAL ON SIX AND A HAM ON RYE


WHAT'S THE PLAYBOOK SAY ABOUT THAT


IT SAYS THEY'RE GONNA TRY TO SCORE A HOME RUN


WELL WE'LL JUST MAKE SURE THEY DON'T GET PAST THE CREASE


HELP I'VE BEEN TACKLED


HA HA, GOTCHA


THROW IT TO ME, EL GUAPO, I'M OPEN


GO LONG, HERE'S THE HAIL MARY


HA HA, I PUT SOME GREASE ON THE FIELD SO EL GUAPO WILL SLIP


OH NO, I SLIPPED


THAT'S A ONE STROKE PENALTY FOR SLIPPING, I'M AFRAID


SOMETHING TELLS ME OUR OPPONENTS ARE CHEATING, i'll get to the bottom of this


GIMME A D, GIMME AN E, GIMME AN F, GIMME ANOTHER E, GIMME AN N, GIMME AN S, AND GIMME A THIRD E


WHAT


PUT THEM TOGETHER AND WHAT DO YOU GOT


SEARCH ME, I'M JUST A FREAKIN HAND PUPPET


OH NO SPORTS FANS IT'S DOWN TO THE LAST PLAY OF THE GAME AND THE CAT TOWN TECH FIGHTIN' BROCCOLI ARE TRAILING BY ONLY 3 WICKETS


GUYS WE GOT THIS GAME IN THE BAG


THIS WAS SO EASY I'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF


BROCCOLI MAKES ME GASSY HURR HURR HURR


GUYS I THINK THEY STOLE OUR PLAYBOOK SO LET'S USE OUR OTHER PLAYBOOK OKAY


I SURE AM GLAD THEY DIDN'T STEAL OUR OTHER PLAYBOOK


I SURE AM GLAD YOU STOLE THEIR OTHER PLAYBOOK


NO PROBLEM BOSS, IT WAS EASY


I HEARD THAT


YOICKS


NOW GET OUT OF OUR HUDDLE


THAT'S A FIVE YARD PENALTY FOR BEING IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HUDDLE, CAT TOWN TECH STILL HAS THE BALL


okay i am going to whisper this we'll use our other other playbook for this one ok


you got it el guapo


this cockamamie scheme of yours better work el guapo or else we'll all have to wear dresses to the homecoming dance


YOU SEE THE S IS FOR SUPA, THE U IS FOR UNIQUE, THE P IS FOR PERFECTION CUZ YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE FREAKS


OKAY GREEN 75, ORANGE 98, TURK 182, HUT HUT HIKE


WHAT'S THE OTHER PLAYBOOK SAY ABOUT THAT ONE


UH IT SAYS WE ARE TO RUN OFF THE FIELD AND GET INTO THE CHEATER'S JAIL


CAN'T FAULT THAT STRATEGY, C'MON LET'S GO BEFORE WE GET CALLED FOR OFFSIDES


EL GUAPO PASSES TO THAT OTHER CAT, FADES BACK, HE'S WIDE OPEN, KORSAROVSKY IN THE POCKET, DRIBBLES ONCE, HE SWINGS AND CONNECTS AND YES, YES, I THINK IT COULD BE, I THINK IT IS, YES!!


DING DING, EL GUAPO HAS CAUGHT THE GOLDEN SNITCH AND WON THE GAME


WHO THE HELL ARE YOU


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


EL GUAPO EL GUAPO HE'S OUR CAT, IF HE CAN'T DO IT, YOU'RE TOO FAT


CHEER ALL YOU LIKE BUT I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THE GREAT TEAMWORK OF ALL YOU GUYS


HURRAY


CAN WE COME OUT OF THE CHEATER'S JAIL NOW


NO


AND THAT'S THE GAME, CAT TOWN TECH WINS WITH A SCORE OF FIVE HUNDRED TO LIKE ALMOST FIVE HUNDRED


I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE


OH I ALMOST FORGOT I HAVE TO BE HOME BY 10 CAUSE I FORGOT TO TAPE LAW AND ORDER


>x<


OH ALL RIGHT YOU CAN COME WITH ME BUT YOU BETTER NOT GET ALL MOONY WHEN MCCOY SHOWS UP


OH I WON'T, I PROMISE YOU, I SURE WON'T


KCHUNG-KCHUNGGGGGG


WELL HE WAS LIKE THAT WHEN WE FOUND HIM, STILL IN HIS SPORTS JERSEY, FLAT ON HIS BACK AND COVERED IN SMOOCH MARKS


SEEMS TO ME THIS OL' CAT TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM

AND THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOING DOWN IN



THE END
A "I KNOW THAT'S THE WRONG FONT" PRODUCTION


SPONSORED IN PART BY THE GOOD PEOPLE AT ABBIE THE CAT

(16 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:ooshiny
Date:December 10th, 2003 04:50 pm (UTC)
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boy am i glad i got to skip work today.
[User Picture]
From:zrblm
Date:December 10th, 2003 04:58 pm (UTC)
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OH NO SPATCH I DID NOT EAT MY VEGETABLES I WAS JUST HIDING THEM UNDER MY PLATE
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:December 10th, 2003 05:05 pm (UTC)
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OH IN THAT CASE YOU CAN ONLY READ HALF, BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP WHEN THE HAND PUPPET CAT SAYS "WHAT"
[User Picture]
From:granuaile
Date:December 10th, 2003 05:34 pm (UTC)
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sir patchel, i feel it is my duty to let you know

when i got to Hogwarts cat, my tea came OUT MY NOSE

thank you and goodnight.
From:dcart
Date:December 10th, 2003 06:17 pm (UTC)
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Brilliant as usual.
[User Picture]
From:genarti
Date:December 10th, 2003 07:26 pm (UTC)
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*dies laughing*

And, yes, the Hogwarts cat = SNERK.
[User Picture]
From:arielblue
Date:December 10th, 2003 07:28 pm (UTC)
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CAT TOWN == NOT SAFE FOR WORK

Quick! The Heimlich! I just choked on a guffaw!
[User Picture]
From:betweenstations
Date:December 10th, 2003 07:32 pm (UTC)
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I laughed. I cried. I tried to make my own cats wear Christmas wear.
From:archangelsk
Date:December 10th, 2003 07:47 pm (UTC)
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Hot damn, I'm glad to see Calvinball finally achieved (semi-)organized sport status! (Beautiful episode, man. This one has Emmy written all over it.)
From:aussie_nyc
Date:December 10th, 2003 08:13 pm (UTC)
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*dies*
[User Picture]
From:phonemonkey
Date:December 10th, 2003 08:35 pm (UTC)
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Oh man.

Spatch, you are awarded the rare bow-down-and-worship Japanese emoticon.

m(_ _)m

And then some.
[User Picture]
From:morgaine723
Date:December 11th, 2003 03:40 am (UTC)
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Yay Cat Town! That handsome El Guapo cat has saved the day once again!
[User Picture]
From:ctartchick
Date:December 11th, 2003 04:58 am (UTC)
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CALIFORNIA ORANGES ARIZONA CACTUS WE PLAY THESE GUYS JUST FOR PRACTICE!
BUT I CAN'T CHEER ANYMORE BECAUSE ALL MY OTHER CHEERS ARE NASTY. GO EL GUAPO
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:December 11th, 2003 05:05 am (UTC)
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Nasty cheers are AOK but they may not be repeated in CAT TOWN.

I was also trying to remember the cadence of the BE AGGRESSIVE cheer but I forgot it.
From:shatteredskins
Date:December 11th, 2003 11:11 am (UTC)
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That was just beautiful.
[User Picture]
From:song72
Date:December 11th, 2003 02:53 pm (UTC)

one thing

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I just wanna know, how you get the pics. Good grief those are some mellow cats!

(this being only my second episode of Cat Town, maybe you already explained this and I missed it.)

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