PQ: Do you like Bejeweled?
SPATCH: Uh, sure.
PQ: And do you like RPGs?
SPATCH: Yeah, I guess.
PQ: Then I bet you'd like me! I'm an unholy cross between Bejeweled and an RPG!
SPATCH: Doesn't sound all that compelling. In this game, do I just, like, battle a computer opponent by playing Bejeweled at them?
PQ: Yeah! More or less. We take turns making moves and stuff.
SPATCH: Puzzle Pirates already did a single-player variant on Bejeweled, and they had more than just one game to play, too. I just don't see what the appeal would be here. Running around a land playing Bejeweled against monsters?
PQ: Oh come on, give us a tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
SPATCH: I've got other things to do.
PQ: You know you waaaaaant toooooooo...
SPATCH: Oh, ok, let's just see what all the fuss is about.
EIGHT HOURS LATER...
SPATCH: Fuck you, Puzzle Quest.
PQ: Nice move! Now watch as I do a chain of multiple four-in-a-rows and make sure I get all the good adds and smack you around for good measure!
SPATCH: Fuck you fuck you fuck you.
PQ: Aw, I left you with one move, see?
SPATCH: Yeah, one that sets you up for another combo chain. You cheat, Docta Jones.
PQ: Didn't you have stuff to do?
SPATCH: Yeah, but it can wait until I get to level 15 and win the fight against the ogre and capture that other dood so I can learn his spells and then buy some new gear so I can bolster my spells and do damage every time I capture yellow mana and and and and and and OH HOW I LOATHE YOU PUZZLE QUEST
SATAN: Yay! That's another notch in my satanic bedpost!