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November 14th, 2007


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01:08 pm - AGENT.
Thank you for calling Automated Airlines' automated airline phoneline. I am a recording, though I will be speaking to you in the first person so it's like we're just carrying on a conversation like two regular people, okay?

Whatever.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand what you're saying. I'll start by asking you some questions. First, are you calling f-

AGENT.

Okay. You want to speak to an agent. Is that correct? If so, say yes.

Yes.

Great! Are you calling about a new reservation, or an existing reserv-

Existing.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand you. Are you calling about a new reservation, or-

EGG. ZIS. TING.

All right! You want to discuss an existing reservation. Is that correct? If so, say yes.

(sigh) Yes.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understa--

AGENT.

Okay, I'll transfer you to an agent. First I'll just need a few answers from you. Is this for a domestic flight travelling solely in the continental Unite-

Just let me speak to a person.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand you. Is th-

Of course you didn't, you're a goddamned computer. Now go get me a person.

... I'm sorry that I am having trouble understanding what you're saying.

Yeah, I bet you are.

... I'm sorry that I am having trouble understanding what you're saying. Please hold for one minute and I'll connect you to a representative.

mmbrbbbelbeze autoameted airlines myname is john mmzmhelp you?

AGENT.


The preceding has been brought to you by http://gethuman.com/ whether they're aware of it or not. Don't let this happen to you.

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:limax
Date:November 14th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
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Now try the above conversation with a sore throat.
[User Picture]
From:muse0fire
Date:November 14th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
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*sigh*

I go through that conversation on a daily basis...

REPRESENTATIVEREPRESENTATIVEGIVEMEAGODDAMNLIVEPERSONRIGHTNOW

I also worked for a software company that helped develop the voice recognition "customer service" software. To everyone, I apologize for my part in all that.
[User Picture]
From:littlegirltoast
Date:November 14th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
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By startling coincidence, this conversation is ever so much akin to this skit from MC Frontalot's album:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/4905577de5e2e1/

I guess probably everyone who talks to robots against their will has a similar dialogue in their head, eh?
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:November 14th, 2007 07:07 pm (UTC)
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Working at a phone-based concierge company that deals with Ticketmaster and various airlines all day, you hear a lot of people in different cubes just say "AGENT" out of the blue. Today I finally snapped and started talking back to the goddamned computer.
[User Picture]
From:rigel
Date:November 14th, 2007 07:12 pm (UTC)
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I shouldn't find this funny. But having worked there, I do. *hug*

It's (awful and) hysterical that the agent sounds as bad as the recording.
[User Picture]
From:markm
Date:November 14th, 2007 06:58 pm (UTC)
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If you phrase it nicely, they'll let you ask for Agent 86! Really!

Oh. Well, would you believe they'll at least allow you to ask for a conscious human?

Would you believe three apes and a ball of twine?

[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:November 14th, 2007 07:06 pm (UTC)
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For quality purposes, this call may be monitored or recorded, so we better lower the Cone of Silence.
[User Picture]
From:resk
Date:November 14th, 2007 07:21 pm (UTC)

Tip

(Link)
I generally just keep hitting repeatedly "0" until I get connected to an actual person. It usually works.

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