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August 23rd, 2007


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08:34 am
Edification.
I'm sure that like me, you too have lost many a night's sleep wondering "If a Tyrannosaurus Rex were to run after David Beckham, would he be able to get away?" I'm pleased to report that the answer is no, Becks would be chased down and gobbled up like a cocktail weiner in a Galaxy jersey. We can all sleep soundly now, safely reassured of an extinct species' continued superiority over homo sapiens.

(10 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:fancycwabs
Date:August 23rd, 2007 01:01 pm (UTC)
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If Jurassic Park 2 showed us anything, it's that predatory dinosaurs can be defeated by gymnastics. I don't think the study to the possibility that Beckham kicked a soccerfootball, or perhaps Posh Spice, at the T. Rex in order to distract it while he developed a long enough head start to out-endure it.

Also, did they skeletal and muscle structure data from Jurassic Park? 'Cause a real velociraptor scarcely weighs more than Abbie the Cat.
[User Picture]
From:gwynethfar
Date:August 23rd, 2007 03:06 pm (UTC)
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I'm glad someone spent time and probably government money figuring that out.

I would also rather watch a T Rex eat David Beckham than a soccer game of any kind.
[User Picture]
From:semer
Date:August 23rd, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
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omg icon steal i can plz kthx?
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:August 23rd, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
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I think what I really like the best was their need to use Beckham as their measuring stick in this case. He's hardly the fastest runner in the world, but hey! He's in the news, so give him a mention!

Maybe he'll become the constant for speed measuring, much like how a cow is always the constant for explaining how fast pirhana can eat, or how "the table was set for dinner and food cooking" is the constant for describing mysteriously abandoned ships at sea...
[User Picture]
From:fancycwabs
Date:August 23rd, 2007 05:54 pm (UTC)
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Beckham is the new Smoot.
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From:semer
Date:August 23rd, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
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*grin* Yeah, I saw that article. And I did, indeed, giggle. And then sigh. And then actually stop to think about the fact that someone wasted time on that... and was sad.
[User Picture]
From:spwebdesign
Date:August 23rd, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
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Having watched Beckham last night in the England-Germany friendly, I have a feeling I could catch him (though I would pass on gobbling his cocktail weenie)!
[User Picture]
From:jimmystagger
Date:August 23rd, 2007 05:28 pm (UTC)
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The T-Rex would not want to eat Beckham. Firstly, Galaxy jerseys have always been made out of toxic chemicals. Secondly, he'd be spitting out hair product for the better part of a month. That can't be good for his digestive track. It's best to just avoid the LA Galaxy entirely.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:August 23rd, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
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Why are we assuming that Becks is a homo sapiens in the first place?

Noah

PS Aren't you glad I didn't go for some lame "homo/metrosexual" joke?
[User Picture]
From:luckimunki
Date:August 24th, 2007 01:42 am (UTC)
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I already learned this very important piece of news from Craig Ferguson, which also included an adorable impression of Beckham running from a Tyrannosaur.

I can just see the editors' wheels turning: "A story about how fast a Tyrannosaurus Rex can run? Nobody will care about that!"
"How about we compare his speed to something every American cares about: a soccer player!"
"Genius! That'll play in Peoria!"

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