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July 27th, 2007

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11:53 am - EXPLODING VAN
I can't say I've ever cared much for 4chan and their /b/ message board and all its ilk, and they do tend to annoy and harass quite a bit more than other prank-happy sites, but after they found and exploited an open directory on FoxNews' website, one of its LA affiliates decided to some INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING... on this INTERNET HATE MACHINE! A HACKER GANG called ANONYMOUS actually STEAL PASSWORDS and PUT VIRUSES ON YOUR COMPUTERS and MADE THIS FAMILY BUY A DOG! OBSTENSIBLY FOR PROTECTION! (The friendliest-looking dog you've ever seen running up to lick the cameraman wasn't hardcore enough for their guard dog idea, so they also dubbed in a MEAN DOG BARK to show IT MEANS BUSINESS.)

SEE! Pictures of DANCING HITLERS and random stock footage of a van blowing up EVERY NOW AND THEN FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT!

HEAR! A sensationalistic news anchor actually say the words "truly epic lulz" while DARK AND OMNIMOUS MUSIC plays underneath!

WITNESS! The guy whose MySpace account was HACKED with GAY SEX PICTURES which caused his GIRLFRIEND TO LEAVE HIM!

FEAR FOR YOUR LIVES! Fear the ANONYMOUS HATE MACHINE which DOES NOT FORGIVE and who, we're told in the same sentence, VOW TO BLOW UP SPORTS STADIUMS (exploding van)[0] and SPOIL HARRY POTTER BOOKS!

EXPERIENCE! The hard-hitting investigative journalism that we've come to expect from local Fox affiliates!


Sure, /b/ is mean, let's face it. And they certainly do get their jollies making the lives of others miserable. How is this any different from National Review readers? (oh, the zing!) But I can't take anybody involved in this news report seriously, from the interview shadows with the distorted voice (10 bucks says it's one of Fox11's interns) to the exploding van to the lady who SHUTS HER CURTAINS IN FEAR and sends REPORTS TO THE FBI but fears they may not act... UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE. (The "information" probably consists of updates along the lines of "they called my son names again today. DO SOMETHING!")

Do note that, aside from virus propagation, phone harassment and password phishing ("...causing the victims involved to wonder... 'why me?'" Well, probably because you fell for one of those "THIS IS TOM FROM MYSPACE PLEASE VERIFY YOUR MYSPACE ACCOUNT BY VISITING THIS THIRD-PARTY SITE AND ENTERING YOUR USERNAME AND PASSWORD OR ELSE I'LL DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT" scams) there is nearly no actual follow-through on any of the 4chan schemes which are, let's face it, kiddie at best. What they do best is posture and pose and bait, and Fox11 News took their bait and swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.

I mean, this report is pretty much the Internet-related equivalent of "GANGS of FOURTH-GRADE BULLIES. Could they be giving PURPLE NURPLES and INDIAN SUNBURNS in YOUR neighborhood?" (And I don't doubt for a moment some Fox affiliate has actually done a sensationalistic report to that effect.) If it didn't have the Fox11 logo plastered all over it, I'd swear it was an Onion News Network piece. I love it when Serious News takes the Inter Butt as Serious Business.

0. mentioned only once in the report as "now thought to be a hoax." EXPLODING VAN!!

(18 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 05:19 pm (UTC)
"truly epic lulz" made my day.
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 05:25 pm (UTC)
It needs to be sampled and used somewhere, anywhere.

[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 05:49 pm (UTC)
Point me to a sound file when it exists, and I shall vector it via my vast media empire. At present the thought of watching the video you describe here is just too igry for me.
Date:July 27th, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC)


[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 09:19 pm (UTC)
Anonymous delivers!
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 05:57 pm (UTC)
I wonder if /b/ will thank Fox11 for all the attention.
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC)
They won't. They don't want it.
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 06:23 pm (UTC)
I cannot watch that video. If what you describe in it is accurate, that would mean that 4chan is a real, tangible thing and not a consensual hallucination coughed up and hoarked onto the floor by the collective feline digestive system of the Internet.

My worldview would collapse upon the revealation of such information, and thus I must now deny its existence. *fingerwaving, hooting, eviscerating a yak*
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 07:14 pm (UTC)
I hadn't seen this when I made my most recent post, but I have to tell you that thing made me laugh so hard I had tears streaming down my face.
Date:July 27th, 2007 08:20 pm (UTC)
Truly epic lulz!!!

Oh my God, too funny.
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC)

...oh no wait they blew up the party van
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
We get 4chan wannabes on our network all the time. Unfortunately, they're more often than not very stupid and don't moderate their content at all, which then ends up being a source of child porn. Very annoying, stupid, and always disturbing to find at the end of a graveyard shift.
[User Picture]
Date:July 27th, 2007 11:08 pm (UTC)


One thing is for sure: This is not likely over. And it will only get funnier.
Date:July 29th, 2007 04:42 am (UTC)


They've got the reporter's name and info up on /b/ as we speak, along with other tidbits floating around. I'm not sure fox 11 is up for an opening volley from ANONYMOUS.

But between the repeated use of an exploding van graphic, and the fact the guy said "epic lulz" I'm kinda thinking they're in on it.
Date:July 28th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)

I am laughing hystarically

internet is serious business alright
[User Picture]
Date:July 28th, 2007 01:10 pm (UTC)
Now, THAT was some truly epic lulz in and of itself! I had to watch it twice, although I'm ashamed to admit that I did!
Date:July 29th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
One of the weirder things about where I live is that the local fox affiliate does the best, most serious newscasts. Freaky.
Date:April 18th, 2008 04:09 pm (UTC)

hacker gang

i was reading about this hacker gang stuff on another blog, i was actually a victim after giving someone by cell phone number and them looking it up on Find Someones Phone Number, they did all sorts of nasty crap, i don't see how they get by with it!

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