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May 30th, 2007


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02:00 pm - blanket bans, no questions asked!
The Good, The B& and The Ugly
A Western Metaphor I Think

INT. SALOON - DAY

(The TYPICAL REGULAR GOINGS-ON of a REAL WILD WEST SALOON are interrupted by the sudden appearance of a MENACING TYPE and one of those OLD-TIMEY GUYS who is probably GABBY HAYES. Anyway, you know the drill. These two guys BURST THROUGH THE SWINGING DOORS, the POKER PLAYERS hush up, the PIANO MUSIC STOPS, the BARTENDER hides behind the bar and the FLOOZY runs back upstairs to warn the MARSHALL to stay up there.)

SIX APART, AS PLAYED BY LEE VAN CLEEF
Which one is it?

WARRIORS FOR INNOCENCE, AS PLAYED BY GABBY HAYES (see?)
(pointing at J RANDOM INDIVIDUAL)
Thet one right thar!

(Before anyone can say or do anything, SIX APART grabs its six-shooter and fires three shots into J RANDOM INDIVIDUAL. This now VERY DEAD INDEED INDIVIDUAL falls backwards in his chair, sending POKER CHIPS and CARDS and the POKER TABLE ITSELF flying. There is a VERY AWKWARD SILENCE while everybody stares at the hunter and the hunted. And EVEN MORE SILENCE. And then finally A MOST UNCOMFORTABLE LENGTH OF SILENCE until everybody is ready to STRANGLE THE WRITER.)

WARRIORS FOR INNOCENCE
Ain-- ain'tcha gonna ask questions now?

(SIX APART warily eyes WARRIORS FOR INNOCENCE, then switches the TOOTHPICK in his mouth from one side to the other.)

SIX APART
(with a snort)
Questions.

(SIX APART strides back out through the SWINGING DOORS. WARRIORS FOR INNOCENCE takes a deep breath, looking back and forth at the confused crowd.)

WARRIORS FOR INNOCENCE
Well, I thought that was s'posed to happen next...

(WARRIORS FOR INNOCENCE dashes out the SWINGING DOORS, trying to catch up with SIX APART. The SALOON REGULARS try to silently figure out what happened: the BARTENDER peeks back up from behind the bar, the REMAINING GAMBLERS turn their table back upright, the MARSHALL runs out the back door while the FLOOZY keeps guard. Finally somebody breaks the silence.)

DRUNKARD
(throwing cat across the room)
INVISIBLE STAGECOACH

fin



ah reckon y'all want some kinda context too, eh.

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
From:ungratefulninja
Date:May 30th, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
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Wow, Beff's going to be ecstatic... yup, there she goes.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:May 30th, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
(Link)
That was brilliantly nuclear and I must tell her so.
[User Picture]
From:some_stars
Date:May 31st, 2007 03:46 am (UTC)
(Link)
VISIBLE LITERARY MASTERPIECE

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