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November 8th, 2003


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01:31 pm - Citizens Bank more like Citizen Spank am I rite
Overheard at Citizens Bank branches over and around Somerville and Cambridge:

"No, we don't give out temporary checks here. The branches that do are, like, the ones in supermarkets, and the one in ... where is it again? Oh yeah, Central Square." - the teller in Davis (who admittedly was as helpful as could be and pleasant)

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE THIS BRANCH IS CLOSED BLAH BLAH BLAH I LIKE TO EAT BUGS - sign (paraphrased) on the door of the Citizens bank branch in Central Square across from the Starbucks

NOT YOUR TYPICAL BANK - sign on the ATMs in the closed branch vestibule, carefully annotated by Helpful Cantabrigians

"You guys really need to get some clocks in here. There used to be a beautiful clock hanging here when it was Cambridgeport Bank, and now it's gone. People really like clocks, and it's a real human touch. I mean, we need to know what time it is, especially when you've been waiting in a bank for a long time. You talk about helping the community all the time, and this would really help the community! And there's like no clocks in any of your other branches, either. Do you guys have some kind of rule against clocks in the bank? I asked one teller over at another branch why they couldn't get clocks in there, and she said they didn't have room! That is totally not the right answer." - a civic-minded Cantabrigian, in the new Central Square Citizens Bank branch what used to be the Cambridgeport Bank branch, talking to the nice fellow behind the Customer Service Desk

"Temporary checks? I don't think we do that. You gonna hafta talk to the guy at the Customer Service desk." - the teller I got in the Central Square branch, after a fine wait and they were out of free coffee besides

"We don't give out temporary checks for use outside the bank anymore. I can cut you a money order though." - nice fellow behind the Customer Service Desk, who did indeed solve my problem even though the whole merry chase could've been avoided if Citizens, say, gave out temporary checks, or informed all branches that they don't do that anymore

"8" - the tens column of the money order I got
"5" - what the tens column should have read

"Oh snap." - Me (paraphrased) on the T, looking at the money order
"THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION, AND THANK YOU FOR ROIDING THE T." - recorded lady who thanks us for roiding the T

"Zzzzz" - Abbie the Cat
"Zzzzz" - Me, shortly, for the next six months

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