It's just this little chromium switch, here... (derspatchel) wrote,
It's just this little chromium switch, here...

Dr. Who and the Tentacles of Hen-Tai

I am SO not going to talk about Evolution of the Daleks because honestly if I could go to New New New New New New New New York and get one of them Forget patches, I'd do so in a heartbeat. Ah, sweet bliss! Goodbye six-foot-three pink fleshy one-eyed monster with poorly-wriggling tentacles, hello reclaimed memory space that could be used for, oh, I don't know, memorizing UPC numbers! This bottle of chocolate milk is 75457 71100. Remember that. I know I am! Next time I think 75457 71100, I'm gonna think delicious chocolate milk!

I mean it. No talk about Dalek Phallus Sek and his mechanical tentacles and fireman's helmet, no talk about the first five minutes and the hilariously awful dialogue, and no talk about how it took the entire episode for things to actually turn rather dark and almost good.

Except for the fact that even though I severely resisted an In The Name Of Love ending for Three Ls One H and her pig of a fiancee (you cad! How dare you talk of him that way!) I really liked how the Doctor threw himself into saving Pigboy after all the talk of genocide. The Last of His Race sparing the life of the Last of Its Race and then saving the Last of That Other Race, because he's got that moral code and all. Now Pigboy and 3L1H will happily live together in a ramshackle shed in a makeshift Central Park village.

I shudder to think what their children will look like, however.

Oh, and I did like the Doctor on the top of the Empire State Building, that was manic and frenetic and all, ONE POINT TWENTY-ONE JIGOWATTS! Though I never knew that solar flares looked like lightning bolts. Did you? Hooray, we learned something today!

At least I know that this two-parter (the first part of which was all right but nothing to write home about, so I didn't) hadn't flown from the furious fingers of Russell T. Davies, as there were actual villains who did actual villain work and didn't just want to stand around cackling all day. But then again, the villains were Daleks, so there was a bit of STAN-DING A-ROUND AND HOL-LER-ING, HOL-LER-ING, HOL-LER-ING!! inherent in the characters to begin with.

Still. I liked the concept of a new race of Daleks, and I'm sure as spittin' glad that they had decided to just use Empty Human Shells in which to pour the Dalekness instead of creating more Pinkthu'hlu critters. We'll forgive the whole DNA-mingling thing because it was kind of fun to watch the Timelordalekmen blast two Oldschool Daleks to Skaro Come.

But. But. BUT!! (enough about me, Simone, let's talk about your big "but".)

I've already ranted about the whole Love-For-Love's-Sake angle they're throwing on Martha and Ten. It makes it seem as if Martha is only around so Ten can work out his post-Rose depression. And it's not so much that Martha seems to have a crush on the Doctor, because that's plausible. Hell, you can't tell me some of the other companions -- especially one or both of the Romanas -- weren't carrying little torches around for the good Doctor. Look at how hard Sarah Jane Smith took it when she was dumped in Not-Croydon: over twenty years and she still missed him! But there was common sense enough to let it remain as subtext and not go further with things.

But what I absolutely hate is the fact that they're obviously trying to push Ten & Martha together and transparently so; all the minor characters come out of the goddamn woodwork to comment on how awesome it would be if the two were together. "Oh, is he not yer boyfriend? Shame, that. You'd make a luvly couple." Look at 3L1H and Martha chattin' away as they pore over the blueprints. "Just think! You could be two doctahs togethah!" 3L1H swoons. Well, they already are. They're just not SUCKING FACE EVERY TIME THEY RUN INTO THE TARDIS.

The message RTD & The Gang are sending us is a patronizing "See, Beloved Audience? SEE?! If O'Toonces, The Irish Cat Who Can Drive A Car can see that they're made for each other, WHY CAN'T YOU?"

No! No!! Stick it! Stick it in your ear! Then wiggle it around and discard it, cause it's now covered in earwax!

I know it seems pretty obvious at this point that there's no way RTD can envision two people travelling around in time having adventures without having them fall in love. But honestly, this show and these characters don't deserve to have a Mulder & Scully dynamic smeared all over them. It's a cheap device. And no, I won't be waiting on tenterhooks for the inevitable kiss-with-meaning that you KNOW will be coming up at some point, which will be presented as THE MOST DRAMATIC AND INCREDIBLE PART OF THIS SERIES HALLELUIA THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

Stick! Ear! Wax!
I am tired.
Tags: doctor who

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