The Right Honorable Mayor Thomas Whateveryourmiddleinitalis Menino
Rockin' at the Government Center
Boston, MA 02201
Dear Mayor Menino,
It has come to my attention that the United States Postal Service, the government's department which deals with the transport of letters, goods and other such nifty things, has partnered with George Lucas, this guy who made a few movies about some Star Wars that were very popular back in the 1970s and 1980s.
In this deal, the USPS (that stands for United States Postal Service) has created and will be deploying versions of their mailboxes that have been decorated to resemble R2-D2, a robot character from the aforementioned star wars movies.
For reference purposes, here is a picture of a mailbox. You may have used one before and recognize its distinctive shape and color.
Now here is a picture of the movie character R2-D2. Note how he is small and round and looks kind of like a trashcan (that's where you throw away stuff you no longer need.) He makes adorable bleeping and blooping noises, too.
And here is what a mailbox decorated like R2-D2 will look like.
Notice how it is shaped like a mailbox, but looks like R2-D2. This is intentional and designed to provoke amusement and mirth from people who want to mail some letters.
I am telling you this because, at some point in the next week or so, these humorous mailboxes may begin to appear around Boston. They may look mysterious at first, but they are perfectly harmless. They are not bombs and they're not hoax devices, either. They're real mailboxes! You can even call the Post Office and ask if you want to!
Considering the City of Boston's current stellar track record at keeping us all safe from LED advertisements and dangerous city-installed traffic monitoring devices, it would be best for all of us if you tried very very hard to not explode any of these mailboxes in the interest of public safety. Not only would you waste more precious time and resources, and probably go into a fuming rage and jail the postal workers responsible for installing the mailboxes, but tampering with the U.S. Mail is a Federal offense and punishable by law.
Tampering means "messing with."
So please just keep this in mind as Boston isn't exactly ranking high in smartness nationwide at the moment. Also, if you could send this to some of your buddies, like the Chief of Police or the Governor, that would be great.Yours most sincerely,
Somerville, MA 02144