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March 20th, 2007


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01:48 pm - Letters That Should Be Sent But Haven't Dept.

The Right Honorable Mayor Thomas Whateveryourmiddleinitalis Menino
Rockin' at the Government Center
Boston, MA 02201

Dear Mayor Menino,
It has come to my attention that the United States Postal Service, the government's department which deals with the transport of letters, goods and other such nifty things, has partnered with George Lucas, this guy who made a few movies about some Star Wars that were very popular back in the 1970s and 1980s.

In this deal, the USPS (that stands for United States Postal Service) has created and will be deploying versions of their mailboxes that have been decorated to resemble R2-D2, a robot character from the aforementioned star wars movies.

For reference purposes, here is a picture of a mailbox. You may have used one before and recognize its distinctive shape and color.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Now here is a picture of the movie character R2-D2. Note how he is small and round and looks kind of like a trashcan (that's where you throw away stuff you no longer need.) He makes adorable bleeping and blooping noises, too.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

And here is what a mailbox decorated like R2-D2 will look like.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Notice how it is shaped like a mailbox, but looks like R2-D2. This is intentional and designed to provoke amusement and mirth from people who want to mail some letters.

I am telling you this because, at some point in the next week or so, these humorous mailboxes may begin to appear around Boston. They may look mysterious at first, but they are perfectly harmless. They are not bombs and they're not hoax devices, either. They're real mailboxes! You can even call the Post Office and ask if you want to!

Considering the City of Boston's current stellar track record at keeping us all safe from LED advertisements and dangerous city-installed traffic monitoring devices, it would be best for all of us if you tried very very hard to not explode any of these mailboxes in the interest of public safety. Not only would you waste more precious time and resources, and probably go into a fuming rage and jail the postal workers responsible for installing the mailboxes, but tampering with the U.S. Mail is a Federal offense and punishable by law.

Tampering means "messing with."

So please just keep this in mind as Boston isn't exactly ranking high in smartness nationwide at the moment. Also, if you could send this to some of your buddies, like the Chief of Police or the Governor, that would be great.
Yours most sincerely,

D. Spatchel
Third Floor
Der Waffle Abbie Haus
Somerville, MA 02144

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:28bytes
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:22 pm (UTC)
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Should we really be allowing mailboxes to look like robots in this post-9/11 world?
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC)
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You've got a point. As Star Wars existed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, all their representations are a cruel reminder of the pre-9/11 world and just how nice our freedoms had it then.
[User Picture]
From:redtheblue
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
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Not to mention that R2-D2's full name is R2-Hussein-D2.
[User Picture]
From:obra
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:38 pm (UTC)
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I now have an extreme desire to fit a microprojector on one of these that projects a "help me obi-wan" message.
[User Picture]
From:luckimunki
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
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Be careful, that sounds like one of them Arabian names.
[User Picture]
From:neddiheht
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
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D00d, you should so send that.

Seriously.
From:mhaille
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
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Agreed.
[User Picture]
From:luckimunki
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
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Thirded.
[User Picture]
From:joenotcharles
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
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I'd say sending it to a newspaper as an open letter is the way to go.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:March 20th, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
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how i make picturs
[User Picture]
From:ron_newman
Date:March 20th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
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brilliant. you should submit this to the Weekly Dig or Metro.
[User Picture]
From:driftingfocus
Date:March 24th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
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Agreed!!
[User Picture]
From:marphod
Date:March 20th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
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How dare you suggest that the appropriate format for our New Patriotic Freedom Mail be in the unexploded Armed and Dangerous state!
[User Picture]
From:vanguardcdk
Date:March 20th, 2007 07:12 pm (UTC)
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I'm worried about people mistaking them for new garbage cans...R2 really does look like a trashcan. (a cute one..but still...)
[User Picture]
From:celestial_axis
Date:March 20th, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)
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That letter is freaking hilarious. ;)
[User Picture]
From:sup3rmark
Date:March 20th, 2007 08:04 pm (UTC)
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that's why you're my hero, spatch
[User Picture]
From:qxam
Date:March 20th, 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)
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