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February 11th, 2007


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11:37 am - I am punching this copy in the face
BOOP BOOP BOOP TWEE OVERLOAD BOOP BOOP BOOP AAAARGH
In a Valentine's seafood cooking class from 7 to 8 p.m. Friday ... the Seafood Team Leader at Whole Foods Market will teach you how to make a romantic dish of fish and show you which wines pair with it most yummily.
Attention shoppers: Would whoever just bludgeoned the hell out of the English language please be so kind as to return the tire iron to Automotive? Thank you.

Now there are some word corruptions which can drive an otherwise (presumably) sane person into apoplectic fits -- for instance, I know that if I were to write "A nummy sammich is great when you're preggers!" and actually mean it, I'd be giving the gift of acute myocardial infarction to at least three people on my friends list.

"Yummily" in this case is a double punch to the kidneys because it's a corruption of "yummy", a word I already hate.[0] I think I hate this badverb even more, mostly because it just screams "Rachael Ray" to me. Seriously. It's screaming "RACHAEL RAY! RACHAEL RAY! RACHAEL RAAAAAAAAAAAY!! LET'S PUT SOME EVOO ON THESE SAMMIES! YUMMO!" right in my ear with a deafening high-pitched shriek. Oh god it hurts.

Hmm. Now I hate myself for using the word "badverb" instead of "horrible bastard child of an adjective and the letters L-Y" because, honestly, badverb is... bad. Not even worth a Sniglet. Boy howdy. It's a circus of loathing today and we're passing the savings on to you!

0. with the exception of those adorable wascally Wiggles and their straight-outta-Depeche-Mode song about fruit salad, yummy yummy, which is just too catchy and also slightly menacing.

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:misquoted
Date:February 11th, 2007 06:37 pm (UTC)
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You made my morning, Spatch.
[User Picture]
From:hyperina
Date:February 11th, 2007 07:17 pm (UTC)
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what about "nummers"?
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From:derspatchel
Date:February 11th, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)
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"nummers" sounds like "mummers" and I like mummers; they dress up all fancy-like and strut down Philadelphia streets.

I can't say as I'm crazy about nummers-with-an-n, though. Maybe the mummers say it after they have lunch.
[User Picture]
From:invisibelle
Date:February 11th, 2007 07:56 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, but you gotta consider the target audience. Probably soccer moms, I'm guessing.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:February 11th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
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I'd yellow card 'em all if I could.





my, that almost sounded obscene.
[User Picture]
From:invisibelle
Date:February 11th, 2007 08:02 pm (UTC)
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Haha. I like the metaphor... both ways.
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From:phonemonkey
Date:February 12th, 2007 09:44 am (UTC)
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for instance, I know that if I were to write "A nummy sammich is great when you're preggers!" and actually mean it, I'd be giving the gift of acute myocardial infarction to at least three people on my friends list.

And you know that I am one of those people.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:February 12th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
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"panties" as a plural I don't have too much of a quibble with, but "panty" on its own just ... no. I can't even explain or even try to rationalize the irritation, it just is.

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