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EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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January 31st, 2007


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09:42 pm
Apparently news has come down the wire that they've gone and made a videogame based on Little Britain, the British sketch comedy show that, much like watching someone get hit square in the nads with a scale model of the Statue of Liberty, is pretty funny once but rather repetitive and eventually painfully embarrassing upon subsequent viewings.

However, the makers of this video game didn't have to go through all that trouble to create what is undoubtedly a shoddy Playstation 2 title, full of bugs and boredom. actually, I just viewed the video of the gameplay, and it's all that and a whole lot worse. I just wrote the game for them.
YOUR FLAT
You are in a wheelchair. Your caregiver and friend, Lou, is here.

Lou says, "Your birthday's coming up, Andy."

> SAY I KNOW

You say, "I know."

Lou says, "And as a special treat, I'm taking you out to buy any video game you want."

> SAY I KNOW

You say, "I know."

Lou shows you a video game catalogue.

Lou says, "Now this is the video game catalogue, Andy."

> SAY I KNOW

You say, "I know."

Lou says, "So have a look through it and choose a game you'd like."

> POINT AT RANDOM GAME

You fling your arm out and, finger outstretched, land on a random game title.

> SAY I WANT THAT ONE

You say, "I want that one."

Lou peers at your choice quizzically. "Are you sure you want that one?"

> SAY I WANT THAT ONE

You say, "I want that one."

Lou says, "But that one's an adaptation of a tiresome sketch comedy programme."

> SAY I WANT THAT ONE

You say, "I want that one."

Lou says, "But you said video game adaptations of television programmes are always rushed out to capitalize on a quick trend and never very well thought-out."

> SAY I WANT THAT ONE

You say, "I want that one."

Lou says, "Well, all right, Andy, if that's the one you want--"

> SAY I WANT THAT ONE

You say, "I want that one."

Lou says, "Then we'll just go down the shop and get it then, eh? Better go now before they're all sold out. Wouldn't that be a kerfuffle?"

Lou turns around to put the catalogue away.

> GET OUT OF WHEELCHAIR THEN DANCE AROUND OR SOMETHING

You get out of the wheelchair, then dance around or something.

> GET BACK IN WHEELCHAIR BEFORE LOU TURNS AROUND

You sit back down in your wheelchair. Lou turns around, smiling brightly.

Lou says, "Well, then! Off to the shop with us!"

TIME PASSES...


VIDEO GAME SHOP
You are in a video game shop. Lou is here, holding a copy of the game you picked out earlier.

Lou says, "Here you go, Andy, happy birthday!"

> SAY I DON'T LIKE IT

You say, "I don't like it."

Lou looks puzzled. "But this is the one you picked, Andy."

> SAY IT'S AN ADAPTATION OF A TELEVISION PROGRAMME, THOSE GAMES ARE ALWAYS RUSHED OUT TO CAPITALIZE ON A QUICK TREND AND THEY'RE NEVER VERY WELL THOUGHT-OUT

You say, "It's an adaptation of a television programme, those games are always rushed out to capitalize on a quick trend and they're never very well thought-out."

Lou says, "Well if that's the way you want it, Andy, I'll just put it back."

Lou turns around to put the game back.

> GET OUT OF WHEELCHAIR THEN PLAY DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION OR SOMETHING EQUALLY WACKY

You know, I don't think can keep playing this game for you much longer.

      *** You have successfully beaten a dead horse ***

Would you like to Restart, Load a previous episode, or Quit? >

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:redtheblue
Date:February 1st, 2007 05:46 am (UTC)
(Link)
I wonder how it stacks up to "The Da Vinci Code" for PS2?
[User Picture]
From:jossish
Date:February 1st, 2007 08:14 am (UTC)
(Link)
Ahahaha! So true. The only reason to keep watching Little Britain after the first series was for Tom Baker's voiceover.

(My university freshers talk by the union president was given in the characters of Lou and Andy. So embarrassing to sit through. I really hope they've given up on themes now but I doubt it.)

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