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January 16th, 2007


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08:05 pm - All bets are off, four on the floor, it's Go Time, and the final quarter
You may have heard one of the goofier memes of last summer involved Aleksey Vayner, the Yale grad with a penchant for telling tall tales, who sent his 11-page resume to the prestigious UBS AG financial firm... along with "Impossible Is Nothing", his own homemade video featuring his smarmy platitudes about personal success (the first words out of his mouth in the video define his pretentious personality) along with footage of him ballroom dancing with a scantily clad young lady, serving a tennis ball at "140 mph" (and returning some spoon-fed volleys) bench-pressing 495 pounds (with three spotters "helping" him along) and, in a move that would make Ed Wood proud, a beautifully edited piece where we watch Vayner "prepare" himself in front of a stack of bricks, then watch somebody's hands smash those bricks in extreme-closeup, then cut to another shot of Vayner bowing again -- moving differently than in the extreme-closeup take.)

Now that's funny to begin with.

Then Michael Cera, who played George Michael on Arrested Development, put out his own personal success growth development video, entitled "Impossible is the Opposite of Possible." In it, Cera will wow you with his guitar playing skills, his heavy lifting abilities, and his own platitudes such as "I'm constantly trying to better myself and further educate myself in any way that doesn't involve reading" and "There are always certain people who will try to impede your progress in life that successful people refer to as 'losers'. Cross them out of your life." The interview segments, the tennis segment, the guitar bit, and the dancing make it one of the best piss-takes I've seen in a while, and shows that Cera is one hell of a comic actor already (and, honestly, George Michael was one of the best characters on Arrested Development and seemed so natural with the comic timing and earnest forthrightness. I thought that this video seemed to show what it may have been like if George Michael had been G.O.B.'s son instead of Michael's.)

Then the SA Goons found the video and subsequently discovered Michael Cera's MySpace profile, which contains in the picture gallery several pictures of him appearing in the background of other people's pics. This old chestnut only works with the right position and face, and Cera nails it every time. Each one is funnier than the rest, and when you get to the one that involves a lampshade, it's like the beautiful punchline to a well setup joke.

(12 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:samethreechords
Date:January 17th, 2007 01:44 am (UTC)
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I always thought that Cera got screwed every damn time he wasn't nominated for an Emmy. He's gonna be one of the next really, really great comic actors.

Thanks for the link--I'm definitely watching that.
[User Picture]
From:semer
Date:January 17th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)
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Oh, Michael Cera. <3
[User Picture]
From:sanspoof
Date:January 17th, 2007 03:18 am (UTC)
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Aww, please tell me some goons mirrored the pictures somewhere?
I REALLY don't want a myspace account.
Although actually a stupid throwaway one could be fun.
Although it's probably already been done.
Boo.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:January 17th, 2007 04:37 am (UTC)
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Just uploaded 'em fer ya.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:semer
Date:January 17th, 2007 05:55 am (UTC)
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I think living in a state of constant mortification might be bad enough.

Maybe. :P
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:January 17th, 2007 01:12 pm (UTC)
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Well, they certainly didn't buy into anything he said; the school's humor magazine compiled a list of things he had told folks when he had visited as a high school senior, such as he'd won two tennis matches against Pete Sampras, he was employed by both the Mafia and the CIA in his childhood (of course, makes perfect sense), the Dalai Lama wrote him a college recommendation, and that he has "killed two dozen men in Tibetan gladitorial contests." I'm sure the Lama wrote the recommendation on the strength of that last claim.

Of course, this is coming from a humor magazine, though the article's author said the list was real and not a satirical piece o' fiction.

Anyway, yeah, I'm sure Yale counts him as among the shiningest stars who have ever shone over New Haven.
[User Picture]
From:mmcirvin
Date:January 17th, 2007 01:30 pm (UTC)
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That his last name is actually "Vayner" is like a gift from the gods of too-obvious comedy.
[User Picture]
From:mmcirvin
Date:January 17th, 2007 01:33 pm (UTC)
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...then again, it's SO on the nose, you can't even use it; it's like a name out of a stage comedy from 1738. Michael Cera didn't touch it.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:January 17th, 2007 04:09 am (UTC)
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Holy shit, he has his own Wiki?? It might be worth it to be the laughingstock of the business world if it got you your own Wiki.
From:thufir_hawat
Date:January 17th, 2007 04:10 am (UTC)

argh, sorry

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The last guy was me. Sorry, sorry
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:January 17th, 2007 02:54 pm (UTC)

Re: argh, sorry

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The kid had enough media exposure and Internet meme-age to warrant a Wikipedia entry, at least. It can't be very helpful to his future employment needs, and I'm wondering if he hasn't tried to get Wikipedia to "CEASE & DISIST" through the names of lawyers who've never represented him.
[User Picture]
From:tylerpistol
Date:January 17th, 2007 01:50 pm (UTC)
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I'm finally watching the entire AD series beginning to end, and it's obvious he was one of the funniest actors on the show. He had that nervous 13 year old schtick down pat.

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