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January 12th, 2007


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04:12 pm - I'm using WUH WUH WUH WINDOWS!
This here's a Google video of a Microsoft promotional video sent out to retailers in the late 80s to tout all the awesome new features of Windows for the 386. The Google video description says it all: "Boring until the 7 minute mark when the production is taken over by crack-smoking monkeys."

Kids, this is what cocaine did for the 80s. And perhaps Patrick Bateman targeted the wrong people.

(23 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:plumtreeblossom
Date:January 12th, 2007 09:33 pm (UTC)
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Four apps running ALL AT ONCE!! Rad!

(Deleted comment)
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From:derspatchel
Date:January 13th, 2007 04:49 am (UTC)
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I SAVED THE DAY BY CUTTING AND PASTING AIRPLANE CLIPART INTO MY BUSINESS PRESENTATION
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From:saint_buddha
Date:January 12th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
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OMG, was that Debbie Harry and Bob Saget I just saw?
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From:bostonista
Date:January 12th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
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Wow. The music is SO BAD. They completely de-syncopated it.
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From:limax
Date:January 12th, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
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It's interesting to see how much the interface has changed... and yes, the 7 minute mark is priceless.
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From:muse0fire
Date:January 12th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC)
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WUH WUH WUH WTF?

And you bastard. Now for the rest of the night I'm going to have "I've got wuh-wuh-wuh-windows" in my head.

*shakes head*
[User Picture]
From:janric
Date:January 12th, 2007 11:03 pm (UTC)
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I HATE YOU!!!
From:ruthling
Date:January 12th, 2007 11:11 pm (UTC)
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So
Very
Wrong
[User Picture]
From:coffeebeanben
Date:January 13th, 2007 12:24 am (UTC)
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I FOUND THE CRACK MONKEYS!

boy they weren't kidding about the seven minute mark.


PARALLEL DIMENSION!!! SWITCH ON!!!!
From:(Anonymous)
Date:January 13th, 2007 12:43 am (UTC)

What else but oyu?

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Hi


Bye
[User Picture]
From:scholargipsy
Date:January 13th, 2007 01:12 am (UTC)
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I don't know what this says about me and my checkered adolescence, but the coke-addled shift at the seven-minute mark reminded me of nothing so much as mid 80s hardcore pornography. I kept expecting the blonde chick to get naked (or, more likely, strip down to some hot pink garter belt ensemble) and start seducing the nerdy guy who comes in with the 1-2-3 files.
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From:derspatchel
Date:January 13th, 2007 04:48 am (UTC)
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Honestly, the acting near the beginning had all the hallmarks of an 1980s office porno. For serious.
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From:mmcirvin
Date:January 13th, 2007 12:51 pm (UTC)
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Actually, what it most reminded me of were (1) "how not to do sexual harassment" training videos, and (2) the late-night infomercials from the mid-1990s for the Philips CD-i, which seemed mostly designed to convince you that a Philips CD-i would make your life hell.
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From:iheartoothecae
Date:January 13th, 2007 02:13 am (UTC)
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Oh my goodness. o.O
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:mmcirvin
Date:January 13th, 2007 02:50 am (UTC)
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Don't forget, this promotional video was aimed at retailers; the very last line reveals that you're supposed to identify with the man who gave her the flowers. Sell Windows 386 and you might score with a nice lady in a business suit who goes completely insane while pasting clip art of space shuttles into lame-ass word processing documents.
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From:derspatchel
Date:January 13th, 2007 04:49 am (UTC)
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I wonder if you had to present the product as "Wuh-Wuh-Wuh-Windows."
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From:mmcirvin
Date:January 13th, 2007 12:42 pm (UTC)
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The way you can really tell it's a great document is that that space shuttle is on EVERY PAGE.

Just one space shuttle would give the villainous T-Bone Pickett an opening, but she went the extra mile.
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From:derspatchel
Date:January 13th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
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I can just see T-Bone Pickett now shaking his fist in frustration.

CURSE YOU, LINDA!
Minions! Fire up your OS/2 and work on a counter-strike!



(and meanwhile the poor mainframe guy is crying softly into his beer)
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From:pecosy
Date:January 13th, 2007 05:27 am (UTC)
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I may not sleep tonight.
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From:redtheblue
Date:January 14th, 2007 01:07 am (UTC)
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Am I the only one that thinks they should have gotten Bruce McCulloch to play Linda? It looks exactly like an extended skit he'd write.

And is that what rap sounded like to ultra-whites in the late 80s? Those poor bastards.
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From:derspatchel
Date:January 14th, 2007 08:27 am (UTC)
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Oh my god, you're right, Linda is one of the Kathies!

I am now in the throes of an extended gigglefit.
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From:redtheblue
Date:January 14th, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC)
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She's Kathy K, I think. This promo's resemblance to a KITH skit is uncanny.
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From:cjfringe
Date:January 16th, 2007 05:10 am (UTC)
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I think what disturbs me the most is that she must have changed from 80s rocker back to business attire with the guy still in the room. No wonder he was awed and asked her out to dinner.

Crack monkeys!

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