December 20th, 2006
|03:47 pm - by the way, the hour of judgement is at hand|
Someone went around last night putting up hand-written notes on the doors of all the churches in and around Davis. I noticed the one on the door of the Haitian church at the corner of College and Morrison. My phone's batteries had died, but the note read something like this, and I'm somewhat paraphrasing near the middle:
To Church and PastorThere was probably more to the note but you get the gist. It was signed, appropriately enough, Elijah.
This is a message given to me by Our Lord Jesus Christ.
I have come to tell you that the time of judgement is at hand for Boston. If all churches band together in prayer and fasting, the Lord will show mercy upon us.
There was a similar-looking note on the door of the Methodist church across the street, and I didn't think to go back and check the Baptist church, but someone was busy flyering last night. This morning, however, there were no signs on either the Methodist or Baptist church doors.
It's been a long time since I've seen such an interesting slightly-ecumenical call for worship against the End Times, but I'm just hoping that Elijah does not feel compelled to start makin' judgements on the Lord's behalf. It's one thing to be a latter-day prophet, but it's another thing entirely to decide to fulfill that prophecy yourself.
No idea. I walked up College Ave around 12:30 am and decided I wasn't about to go on a church trek so late, so I don't know if Elijah decided to send his message everywhere or just to specific congregations.
I left them as they were, since they were individually attached to each church door and I didn't think it right to take 'em down. But if there had been a stack, I would have grabbed one for you and delivered it with my compliments :)
I particularly like the 'for Boston' part. (God will be drawing data from the initial trial programs run in Boston to ensure a more efficient Apocalypse for all).
I'm just hoping Boston gets bumped in favor of, say, Nashville, and enjoys a first-class ticket to the Rapture instead.
As Nashville is home of the Southern Baptist Convention, it is in a constant state of prayer, which is cancelled by the fact that it never, ever fasts.
|Date:||December 20th, 2006 11:42 pm (UTC)|| |
That's all they could come up with? Attaching notes to church doors has been downhill since Martin Luther.
Yeah, it wasn't even nailed. Just taped.
"Moses turned and went down the mountain with the two Post-Its of the Testimony in his hands."
1And the Lord spake unto Moses, speaking: 2Thou shalt adorn thine TPS reports 3with sheets of covering. 4Didst thou not receive the memo?
And the LORD did descend upon the Israelites in a column of fire, and spake unto Moses, speaking: Thine people did not allot unto ME the first portion of birthday cake which is MY right. For this I shall burn down thine temple and thine priests shall no longer have the keeping of the Red Streamline Stapler.
Were the flyers Pink, by any chance?
At least that solves the time-zone problem. After all.."The End" always seems to come either at midnight or dawn and you run into the problem of Midnight where? By specifying a city specifically that problem is moot.
It's the end of the world but hey I got to say moot. I'm happy.
"Half and hour later in Newfoundland...."
I always love it when some doom-n-gloomer makes an exact prophecy regarding the End Of The World, right down to the exact hour and minute, and then when the world doesn't end then, goes "Oh, wait, I wasn't using the Gregorian calendar!" or something.
|Date:||December 27th, 2006 12:14 am (UTC)|| |
Like that dude with the non-tsunami?
When I was 5 years old, Sister Phyllis O'Dowd proclaimed me bound for hell after asking her (in all seriousness) whether or not Noah had a microscope to pick out the male and female bugs so I'm not terribly worried about the fate of my immortal soul in any such judgement. Including my plan to argue with Saint Peter about why hell is even there considering the Biblical promise of forgiveness of sins, I'm probably already booked for a suite with the heat on full.
That being said, this person needs a hobby outside religion.
|Date:||December 21st, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)|| |
Go to cutewithchris.com.
Click on the link to the blog.
Scroll till you see the Cat Town cat and click on the comments.
Do you know the guy who posted the link, or is he a random fan? Because the word is spreadin' my man!
I find it especially amusing since I emailed the link via Colty the day after that episode aired. So, you know, 2 people sending him links to CatTown = TOTAL INUNDATION!