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November 17th, 2006

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01:34 pm
AH, COMMERCE. Boston forces Best Buy to cancel midnight sales of the Playstation 3, because nothing makes the hype machine churn more than artificial shortages and scenes of disappointed gamers who spent days waiting in line only to come up empty-handed.
[Best Buy] expressed regret that it had so few PlayStation 3 machines to offer customers. "We are overwhelmed by the enthusiastic anticipation of the new gaming system," the statement said.
Yeah, the PS3 demand sure caught us all by surprise, didn't it? We've never ever experienced any previous occurrences where a new video game console comes out to great demand and sell out quicker than Andy Williams tickets in Branson. We've never ever seen folks go absolutely ape-poop over short-stocked video game consoles and wait in long lines and get put on waiting lists and get scammed by eBay artists selling "The XBox Box; the box the XBox came in" or anything like that. Nope, nope, nope. Didn't happen with the XBox, didn't happen with the XBox 360, certainly didn't happen with the Playstation 2. Which is why Sony figured "oh, hey, nobody's gonna want the PS3, especially since we slapped such a big ol' price tag on it" so they only released 400,000 units in the United States. And how many units did they release in Japan? According to the Glob article, 100,000.

One hundred thousand console units on launch day in Japan, which sold out almost immediately. There are more people in Tokyo who use the street crossing outside the famous Shibuya Station in a single day than there were Playstation 3s available for sale in all of Japan.

Nope, never did remotely entertain the idea that shortages equal news stories equal publicity that you just can't buy.

SPEAKING of things you just can't buy, I had a great idea in the shower today. I often get ideas in the shower, probably because A. having just woken up, I'm still in the throes of receding REM sleep and B. I haven't had my morning drugs yet. Sometimes shower ideas are good and I can end up using them or turning them into something really good. Other times the ideas were a good idea when I was covered in soap or shampoo, but by the time I commit them to paper or electronic means, they're not so hot.

Today I decided that if I had the money to do so, I'd commission a work from an artist such as Brandon Bird, who gave us the immortal Law & Order coloring book as well as a painting for Lowtax of Something Awful, depicting The Last Supper as attended by twelve James Woods. The apostle John1, however, is depicted as Robocop.

The painting I decided I would like, while in the shower, would be a dogs-playing-poker masterpiece, only instead of poker, the dogs would be playing some good oldschool tabletop D&D. I can see a Collie behind the DM screen checking tables, while a Terrier exults in making his saving roll. The Pug desperately tries to min-max his traits and abilities while denying all accusations of rampant munchkinism from the Scottie next to him, and a bulldog in a bowler hat and riverboat gambler's shirt, slouching at the end of the table with an ace peeking out of his puffy sleeve, realizes that he is definitely in the wrong painting. (I figured it'd be difficult to depict the Chihuahua and the Saint Bernard arguing over THAC0, so I left them out of the final design.)

You're just lucky I don't have such financial means to support a painting of this high caliber. But don't ever accuse me of never havin' no regard for fine art cause I've gone and tried my best, damn you.

1. Or Mary Magdalene, depending on which revisionist philosophy you choose to believe.

(9 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC)
The painting I decided I would like, while in the shower, would be a dogs-playing-poker masterpiece, only instead of poker, the dogs would be playing some good oldschool tabletop D&D.

I would SO totally buy it.
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 07:45 pm (UTC)
My cow orker's son has been camped at a local Wal*Mart since Tuesday night to get a PS3... to sell on eBay.
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 08:06 pm (UTC)
Brilliance: Just sit outside where people are camped out, and shoot them!

There's just a whole passel of idiots on all sides of that equation. I started to feel bad for the people who lost their place in line amidst the confusion, then I realized they were either trying to make a quick buck or appease their bratty children.
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)
I thought that Pontius Pilate was Robocop in that picture.

I was contemplating commissioning the good Mr. Bird for a painting the other day, but your idea is far more awesome than the one I was coming up with.
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)
Pilate wouldn't have been present at the Last Supper. Sure, he washed his hands, but it wasn't immediately after dinner.

I had thought that Judas, naturally, would've been Robocop, but after reading up on the placement of the apostles in DaVinci's painting, realized that the fellow to Jesus' immediate right was a very feminine-looking John (his look has led others to surmise that it was supposed to have been Mary Magdalene all along.)
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 09:23 pm (UTC)
Well, if you ever have roleplaying dogs, at least they'll never lack for something to wear.
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 09:38 pm (UTC)
I like how "Jesus rox!" is nestled in there among the "Warlocks Rock!" and "pwned" designs.
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC)
To be quite honest, I am always skeptical around claims of manufactured shortages for consumer goods, since I think that at the end of the day your corporate masters would rather have your money than not have your money. Marketing has infinite forms, but a sale's a sale.

In other news, I am totally confused. Was the PS3's launch date always today? I was under the impression, as of a couple of months ago, that the Wii would beat Sony to launch, and the PS3 wouldn't likely come out until after Xmas. But my sole source for game news dried up because the podcast's host had a baby, so i dunno anyfink.
[User Picture]
Date:November 17th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)

She might be able to make that vision a reality.

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