It's just this little chromium switch, here... (derspatchel) wrote,
It's just this little chromium switch, here...

Jack Palance isn't dead; he's just sleeping it off

The man, the myth, the legend. Gone.

In honor of the man (though admittedly it's a very loose definition of the word "honor") I present the following sketch from the MST3K episode "Outlaw" (or "Outlaw of Gor"), a film which featured Mr. Palance in a role as a "freakin' wizard":


MIKE: Guys! Guys! Guys!

CROW & SERVO: What? What? What? What?

MIKE: Look what I got! It's Jack Palance's book on the making of today's movie: "Palance on Palance: Believe It Or Not!"

SERVO: Wow! Cool!

CROW: Cool! Lemme read it! Let's see... "Day one. Missed call. Partied all night with that platinum midget fella and Urbano. Still having trouble seeing straight."

MIKE: "Day three. Missed call. Wandered into shot yesterday and they decided to keep it." What the heck does "Avanti! Avanti!" mean? Servo?

SERVO: Okay! Okay! Okay! "Day five. Missed call. After four days of shooting, finally got script today and guess what? I'm not playing Thomas Aquinas. I'm supposed to be some kind of freaking wizard!"

CROW: "Day eight. Missed call. Just can't get cancelled series 'Bronc' off my mind. Why?! Why?! Can't keep anything down. Not sleeping."

MIKE: "Day nine. Missed call. Went to the village with Jeanna. My voice scares little Italian kid. Spent entire per diem on bunch of... crap."

SERVO: Okay! Okay! Okay! "Day ten. Missed call. I think I... I think I killed a man today? More later?"


SERVO: Ooh, gee Mike. I think that's enough!

MIKE: I don't think I want to know anymore!

CROW: Hey guys! A whole chapter on "Tango and Cash"!

SERVO: Pictures! I want pictures!

MIKE: "Saw Russell's butt today!"

CROW: Hee hee hee!
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