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EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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October 19th, 2006

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04:01 pm - what's wrong with this item listing?
http://www.amazon.com/Smuckers-Caramel-Topping-12-oz/dp/B0004MWCS2

Besides the fact that Amazon's selling ice cream toppings now, I mean.

Down at the grocery store, counting out my pennies for some bread, oh yeah
Down and out, you know I'm poor, I'm sick of having margarine to spread - on bread
Listen, Mr. Manager, I'd like to rent my food instead
You rent to me, I'll bring it back
You rent it out to someone else
You'll make more money
Than you ever did before!
Food to rent
Food to borrow
Deposit required
I'll return it back tomorrow!

(13 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:

[User Picture]
From:antikythera
Date:October 19th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
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I thought you might have been objecting to 'gourmet', but then I saw what inspired the song.
[User Picture]
From:grendelyn
Date:October 19th, 2006 10:13 pm (UTC)
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I am disturbed, yet intrigued at the prospect of buying it used for less...
[User Picture]
From:redtheblue
Date:October 19th, 2006 10:41 pm (UTC)
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That's what I thought it was. The "Same Day Shipping" option covers the cost of overnight UPS and the milk of magnesia.
[User Picture]
From:ooshiny
Date:October 19th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
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I believe you have the same buying option with tampons.
[User Picture]
From:ooshiny
Date:October 19th, 2006 10:56 pm (UTC)
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...aw, it looks like they finally fixed that.
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:October 19th, 2006 10:56 pm (UTC)
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Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

OH, THAT'S NOT RIGHT
[User Picture]
From:ooshiny
Date:October 19th, 2006 11:00 pm (UTC)
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Oh man, you MUST read the testimonials on this product... it's what I get for searching "maxi" instead of "maxi pads" to see if they are available used... goodness.

[User Picture]
From:moiread
Date:October 20th, 2006 07:57 am (UTC)
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Aww, man. The last guy actually took it seriously. I feel kinda bad.
[User Picture]
From:zorndeslammes
Date:October 20th, 2006 01:27 am (UTC)

Re:

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You hear about Whalom yet?
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:October 20th, 2006 02:29 am (UTC)

Re:

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Oh my god. I just have.
[User Picture]
From:kalibex
Date:October 20th, 2006 02:19 am (UTC)
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Used available!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:moiread
Date:October 20th, 2006 07:59 am (UTC)
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The potential connotations there just gave me the willies. Something about the term "slightly used".
[User Picture]
From:dogofthefuture
Date:October 20th, 2006 06:31 am (UTC)
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Harrumph! Sir, as a reseller of grocery products, I take umbrage and offense! I sell not "used" products. I merely resell them, indeed unused. How I may have acquired these products is not properly any of your concern, but I assure you, sir, that the products I sell are untouched! Unsullied! Not used in any way. HarRUMPH!

Now then, sir. Should you wish to save 15 cents on your purchase of Smucker's Caramel or any of the other delightful grocery products (entirely unused!) available through my fine distributorship, you need only click and I shall be happy to provide.

(Not really. Also please read as much "offendedly vociferous merchant" into the above as you can possibly stand, especially with rising pitch and volume at appropriate moments. If you don't it's not all that funny.)

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