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October 15th, 2006

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03:51 pm

Your teas are delicious but let's try to tone down the all-too-twee box copy, shall we? To wit:
One sip of the spicy fireworks that is Lemon Mate can make your taste buds think they're sitting around a campfire on the pampas.
Also, consider the following:
Simulating, invigorating, rejuvenating, Lemon Mate delivers a muy macho punch that can make you hear jungle birds talking all night long, and understand what they're saying.
Criminy, people, this is lemon-ginger yerba mate tea we're dealing with here, not ayahuasca. Can't we just say "this tea is tasty and may help to keep you awake" rather than infer "omg dood you'll totally trip balls1" or something?


1. After you've puked your guts out, of course. The best shamanistic visions involve purgatives.

(8 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:October 15th, 2006 10:26 pm (UTC)
Tea is a wonderful thing to help with a gross cold. Colds suck. But yeah, the Tazo box goes right in my trash, and the bags go in a wooden box.
[User Picture]
Date:October 15th, 2006 11:54 pm (UTC)
Is it a special hand-carved box made of out the finest Malaysian sandalwood so as to make your teabags think they're on a tropical island safari?
[User Picture]
Date:October 16th, 2006 01:11 am (UTC)
It was specially made by starving children in China to be sold at the Christmas Tree Shop. It makes the tea think it's getting a bargin.
[User Picture]
Date:October 15th, 2006 11:17 pm (UTC)
$10 says the writer laughed when he sent it to his boss.
[User Picture]
Date:October 16th, 2006 01:06 am (UTC)
ugh, sounds like a Coldwater Creek catalog.

Razzmatazz and all that jazz. In a jeans jacket with tons to spare. One look at the embroidery, appliqué, raveled-edge fabric and add-ons that rocket this basic to trendy heights and you'll become its newest fan.
Date:October 16th, 2006 02:09 pm (UTC)
I'm a little disturbed at the image of my taste buds sitting around in the dirt 2000 miles away from my tongue, frankly.
[User Picture]
Date:October 16th, 2006 02:45 pm (UTC)
I can't say as that I've noticed the boxes, but the outer wrapping on the bags is all too often ridiculous, with instructions like: 'while the scent of the new day engulfs you, bring only the freshest of waters to a boil. While dancing with a loved one, steep for 3-5 minutes.' Guys, I know 'put bag in boiling water' is a bit pedestrian, but adding random relative clauses does not make you look any more exciting or interesting.
Date:October 16th, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)

Keith in Minnesota

"The best shamanistic visions involve purgatives"

Just ask Brock Sampson.

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