It's just this little chromium switch, here... (derspatchel) wrote,
It's just this little chromium switch, here...

Postcards from the Rogue Isles: HALFWAY TO FIFTY

Greetings from the Rogue Isles, where our nefarious villain The Spammer has reached level 25 and, with it, the chance to change his custom title once more. At level 15 he picked up one adjective out of a list of 26 and chose "Dastardly", and at level 25 he was able to pick two adjectives -- one from the first list of 26, and the second from a list themed around his special origin type (he's a villain of Technological origin, so the choices included 'Robotic', 'Quantum' and, amusingly enough, 'L33t'.)

However, taking a page from the Stan Lee Alliterative Academy's textbook, he threw two H adjectives together and BEHOLD!


And what dirty deeds he's done!

He fought a Freakshow boss named T3h R0xx0R, who had an appropriate catchphrase (somewhat obscured by the UI, sorry.)

I thought that was probably the funniest goddamn Freakshow boss I would see, until I ran into this guy:

Bob Fuse-y?! Okay, someone in Cryptic is a fan of musicals. You magnificent bastards.

L-R: Spambot V1A.GR4, Protector.POP3, Spambot.C1A.L15, The Spammer (pre-level 25), Spambot ROL.3X, and Protector.SMTP

And here's a big-ass family portrait. There's also a big-ass version of this picture for no apparent reason. It was hard to get all the bots to stand and face forward, as the Protector bots kept turning to regenerate force fields around their compadres. I finally hollered "THIS IS NOT A MOVING CAMERA, EVERYBODY STAND STILL, THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, WHY CAN'T WE SIT DOWN AND HAVE A NICE DINNER LIKE A NORMAL FAMILY FOR ONCE?" and they all complied.

I'll get one more bot at level 26 -- a giant assault bot. This dude will have firepower like you wouldn't believe. He will probably get the name Bulk Emailer (now that the Protector Bots have new names) or perhaps Nigerian Prince. Or, as grumqa helpfully noted, he could be called simply IIS, for as we all know, it doesn't take much for IIS to royally destroy things in big vats of flame.

We'll see.

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