Need a convenient and handy yarn holder?
Try a husband on Thorazine!
Yes, many mental patients have found that Thorazine lets them escape the shackles of confined asylum life, letting them return home to live normal, prosperous, useful lives as yarn holders, hat racks, doorstops and towel rods! Take it from Skip here: soft, warm yarn beats cold, hard steel any day!
Grandpa gettin' all uppity agin? Is he storming all over the house, hollering about Johnny Reb and searchin' for his shotgun? Have endless arguments over his will made him irritable and tyrannical? No problem!
Just a few grains a day and you can have the Bridge Club over again without fear of unsightly interruptions!
I wonder what folks 50 years from now will think of our Claritin, Crestor and impotency medicine ads.