It's just this little chromium switch, here... (derspatchel) wrote,
It's just this little chromium switch, here...


Oh, Alexander Lipson, how we loved your stick-figure Russian textbooks and your finest creation...

Yes, this is an actual textbook we used when learning Russian in high school. One unit involved the story of Superman. Sorta.


1. Over the city flies a small figure.
2. "What is it?"
3. "Is it a bird?"
4. "Is it a plane?"
5. "No, no, no! It is not a bird..." "Not a plane..."
6. "but SUPERMAN!"
7. The inhabitants of the city wave to their friend (and shout:)
8. "THANK GOD! We can live calmly,"
9. "knowing that YOU are flying over us."
10. Who is this Superman? Where is he from? And why does he fly over the city?

11. Very far from our world was the planet Krypton.
12. There lived one well-known soothsayer.*
*that is, a man who predicts, what will be tomorrow, etc.
13. That soothsayer used to predict catastrophes.
14. Sometimes he predicted serious catastrophes.
15. Sometimes he predicted not very serious catastrophes.
16. Once he predicted a very serious catastrophe.
17. "Tomorrow there will be a very serious catastrophe."
19. "Tomorrow DARK FORCES will destroy our planet!"
20. The inhabitants of the planet all began to shake from fear... "My God!" "What a catastrophe! That's very bad!"
21. ...knowing, that tomorrow would be the end of the world. "Tomorrow will be the END OF THE WORLD!"

22. The father of Superman (that is, Superboy) found out about this.
23. In the evening in Superboy's house, his father and mother were sitting and talking...
24. "Dear, why are you shaking from fear?"
25. "A soothsayer predicted that tomorrow DARK FORCES will destroy our planet."
26. "What will become of our dear SON?"
27. (idea!) "Dear, I have a very good plan." "???"
28. "Boy, I'm going to build a little super-rocket, which will carry you to another planet."
29. "To what kind of planet?"
30. "To a strange, wild planet." "! ? ! ? ! ! !" "? ! ? ? ! !"
31. "What is this planet called?" "This planet is called 'Earth'."
32. "Where is it located?"
33. "Very far from our world."
34. "What kind of people live thre?"
35. "There live weak, pitiful, and insignificant people."
36. "What will I become there?"

37. "You will become the strongest person that strange, wild planet."
38. "What will I do on that planet?"
39. "You will fight..."
40. for [peace] for [brotherhood] for [happiness] for [friendship] for [truth] and for [the American way of life]
41. "Oh my!"
42. BATZ! BOOM! TRAM TARARAM! BATZ! BOOM! BOOM! While DARK FORCES were destroying the planet Krypton...
43. "Farewell, Mama! Farewell, Papa! Farewell, Krypton! Farewell, Laika! *" "Bon voyage!" "RAV! RAV!"
*Laika - beloved dog of Superboy
44. BATZ! BOOM! Superboy's father and mother burst out crying from grief, knowing that he is flying to Earth forever...


And don't think for a moment I translated this all off the top of my head, because I'm not that good anymore. I totally stole some translation text for a lot of the stuff I forgot.
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