Oh, a peanut sat on the railroad trackI can scientifically state that it ain't gonna rain no more, no more in Boston today because I, in a brilliant and wholly uncharacteristic burst of forethought, went and bought an umbrella last night. It is a cheapy McCheap umbrella, and no doubt will bend itself out with the first major gust of wind, but it is
His heart was all a-flutter
Along came the 8:16
Toot toot! Peanut butter!
Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more
It ain't gonna rain no more
How in the heck can I wash my neck
If it ain't gonna rain no more?
1. A full-sized umbrella (as opposed to those half-sized jobbies)
2. Blessed with a sharp pointy metallic end perfect for pedestrian swatting, MBTA rider annoying, or impaling Jack Klugman's cigar stubs
3. Fun to play with like it's a sword (see aforementioned sharp pointy metallic end)
4. Purchased in the full knowledge that if I buy one and walk around with it, it won't rain and I'll look silly carrying around an umbrella I don't need.
So there you go! Dry sidewalks and happy commuters are in the forecast. You're welcome! (If it does rain, that means I've gone and left the umbrella at home or on the T or something.)
