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June 30th, 2003


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01:11 am - YOU HAVE QUITE A TREASURE THERE IN THAT HORADRIC KYOOOBE
HERE ARE SOME THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM PLAYING A LOT OF DIABLO 2 RECENTLY

1. Hacking and slashing pell-mell through hordes of enemies is still a lot of fun.
2. It was fun last time with Mr. Whirlwind Barbarian, but it's even more fun this time around with Miss Double Claw Martial Artist Hey I Can Kick Assassin.
3. "derspatchel" is not an acceptable bnet account name, though it was back in 2001 when last I played. I bet it has something to do with the word "patch" (see #4-7 inclusive.)

4. 1.10 is still on its way, kids!
5. The dupers and hackers are as brazen as ever in the "public" channels, advertising their lame-ass websites where you can purchase their duped items. Didn't Blizzard just crack down on these guys?
6. I still love having to join a chat channel every time I want to play a character and guessing whether or not someone will message me with five line hacked item website ads and scams and whatnot before I have time to create a game.
7. Much love to the people who still try to pull the "HALLO I AM OFFICIAL BLIZARD ACCOUNT MANS YOUR ACCONT WILL BE SHUT DOWN IN 24 HOURS IF YOU DO NOT CONFIRM IT BY SENDING ME YOUR ACCT NAME AND PASWWORD THANK'S FOR PLAYING DIABLO 2" or "HAELO I AM MR OFFICIAL BLIZARD PATCH MANS NOW TO PACTIVATE YOUR ACOUNT TO PLAY 1.10 SEND ME YOUR ACCT NAME AND PASS WORD THANK'S FOR PLAYING" scams even with a warning in big honking red letters next to the chat channel.

8. I still find removing my fingernails with a set of needlenosed pliers held over an open flame preferable to playing in a game with any public bunch of players out there. Maybe it's because I don't use the word "fag" as punctuation.
9. Mr. Lions and Stripey Tish, on the other hand, are perfectly nice companions in a closed, password-protected game. (Get well soon Tishomingo)
10. Three days in and I have yet to giev soj keke ^_^

11. There's some terrible voice acting in the game. I'm looking at you, Charsi.
12. Act 3 is still an annoying bitch of a rainy level with those goddamned fetish creatures running around willy-nilly.
13. And the shamen are even worse with their stupid firebreathing tricks. Hey, I've got a high-resist shield on, man. Stop hitting me.
14. They really upped the gem drops since last I played. I got most of the gems I've found in Act 1. My nooblered druid got 10, count 'em, 10 gems (9 chipped and one flawed) just by freakin' walking from the Rogue Camp to the Den of Bad Things And Hitty Demons Or Whatever. 10!
14a. Unfortunately, you still get the Horadric Cube in Act 2, so hoarding them gems is tough.

15. Killing Blood Raven in one hit is hilarious. Bonus points if you do it before she gets out her little spiel. "MY ARMIES WILL DESTROY Y---gnk"
16. The Summoner is still a horrid, horrid bitch.
17. Since I'm committed mostly to soloing (see #8) I can kiss any hope of playing Hardcore goodbye. Especially with Mr. Summoner (see #16.)

18. I wanna know who the hell decided to scatter his golden hoard around the dungeons in handy, convenient 7-piece increments. A little gold here, a little gold there, a little gold over here... now that really brightens up the room!
19. I'd forgotten about the dude in Act 3 that referred to himself in the third person all the time, but I did remember the alchemist who was like a cross between Ol' Cranky and Mahatmas Gandhi.
20. Writing a strategy guide in horrible rhyme ought to be punishable by a longterm jail sentence. Consider this your first and last warning.
21. bnet forums? Still a cesspool of raving idiots, whineplayers and 12-year-old "special" geniuses who have a hard time pressing keys to make letters appear on their screen. Ah, some things never change.

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