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August 8th, 2005


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12:32 pm - oh, and...
00. Apropros of absolutely nothing that's been written earlier today no sir I have this particular Elementary schoolyard taunt stuck in my head, all singsong-like:
Kindergarten baby
Stick your head in gravy
Something something something something
And sell it to the Navy
It's no Ogden Nash -- I mean, really, rhyming "baby" with "gravy" and later on, "Navy"? At best, one can describe it as a flawed masterwork. No doubt some 7-year-old was very proud of themselves the day they chose to denigrate their Kindergarten brethren and sistren (sistern?) but the fact remains that I can't for the life of me remember the third, and probably critical, line in the quatrain. All I can come out with is "wash it out with sauerkraut" and while it's a nice advanced internal rhyme, it just doesn't jibe as it should. Any suggestions?

01. I also realized today that, when you think of it, "velveeta" is a truly obscene word. That is all.

(29 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


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From:gilana
Date:August 8th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC)
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Isn't it "wrap it up in bubble gum"?
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From:dpolicar
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:24 pm (UTC)
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yeah, that's my recollection as well.
perhaps that was the jewish version.
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From:gilana
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:27 pm (UTC)
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Then is must be Bazooka bubble gum, with the Hebrew comics that I could never decipher!
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From:djsunkid
Date:August 8th, 2005 04:55 pm (UTC)
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It took me about a year to figure out the second last line of All around the mulberry bush-
All around the mulberry bush,
the monkey chased the weasel.
The little dog thought it was all in fun-
POP
goes the weasel.


... pretty gross, really.
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From:nolly
Date:August 8th, 2005 09:51 pm (UTC)
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I learned it as
"All around the cobbler's bench
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey though 'twas all in fun --
POP goes the weasel"
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From:gudriba
Date:August 9th, 2005 12:45 pm (UTC)
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Hmm. My childhood one goes:

A penny for a spool of thread,
A penny for a needle,
That's the way the money goes,
Pop! goes the weasel.

Half a pound of tuppenny rice
Half a pound of treacle
That's the way the money goes
Pop! goes the weasel.


(As well as the cobbler's bench verse.)

Pop = pawnbroker's shop, and weasel = either a cobbler's tool, or a winter coat ("weasel and stoat"). Yay Cockney! :)
[User Picture]
From:androidqueen
Date:August 8th, 2005 04:57 pm (UTC)
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01. I also realized today that, when you think of it, "velveeta" is a truly obscene word. That is all.

oh my god . . .
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From:eeka13
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:05 pm (UTC)
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Volvic.
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From:derspatchel
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC)
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Pertaining to a Volvo? Wait, what
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From:seph
Date:August 8th, 2005 06:33 pm (UTC)
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The brand of water, no?

Silly that water has brands now.
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From:eeka13
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:08 pm (UTC)
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WASH IT OFF IN APPLESAUCE AND SHOW IT TO THE NAVY
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From:derspatchel
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:11 pm (UTC)
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BY JOVE I THINK YOU'VE GOT IT

It even feels right -- the same person who rhymed "baby" with "gravy" could just as easily pinned "wash it off" and "applesauce" together, yes!

Yes!
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From:derspatchel
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:12 pm (UTC)
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("could just as easily HAVE pinned." or "could HAVE just as easily pinned." My brain is slug today!)

Now this is the part where I'm supposed to be surprised at who finally comes up with the right taunt, right?
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From:eeka13
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC)
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When I was like 3 I wondered why comedy shows and stuff had light-up signs that said APPLESAUCE in the audience.
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From:plumtreeblossom
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC)
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Applesauce was the version we had, back in my day.

This reminds me of the pat-a-cake song for pottymouth little girls (like yours truly, back in my day):

Miss Lulu had a steamboat
the steamboat had a bell
Miss Lulu went to heaven and
the steamboat went to
HELLO operator
please give me number 9
and if you disconnect me
I will kick your big
BEHIND the refrigerator
there was a piece of glass
Miss Lulu sat upon it
and broke her little
ASK me no more questions
tell me no more lies
the girls are in the boy's room
opening their
FLIES are in the country
bees are in the park
the boys and girls are kissing
in the D-A-R-K dark
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From:reveritas
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
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OMG i remember that verbatim.
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From:granuaile
Date:August 8th, 2005 05:50 pm (UTC)
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I remember that! But in my version, it had a different end:

...
ASK me no more questions
tell me no more lies
Ms Suzy told me all of this
the day before she
DIED her hair in purple, dyed her hair in pink
died her hair in polka-dots
and washed it down the
SINK me in the ocean,
sink me in the sea,
flush me down the toilet,
but please don't pee on me!


....I like your version better. :)
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From:wellstar
Date:August 8th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I learned that one too, though it was Miss Suzie, not Miss Lulu. However, it didn't end there:

...the boys and girls are kissing
in the D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K
Dark Dark Dark!
The dark is like a movie,
A movie's like a show
A show is like a TV set and that is all
I KNOW I know my mother
I know I know my pa(w)
I know I know my [Insert one of two options here]

Option 1: sister with the 40-acre bra!
Option 2: brother with his hair that's made of straw!

We also did a very complicated pat-a-cake thing with a McDonald's jingle:
Two all-beef patty special sauce lettuce cheese onions on a sesame seed bun. Big Mac!

Or something. I never ate the food, but by gum, I knew the song!
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From:semer
Date:August 9th, 2005 04:00 am (UTC)
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Yes, and from there (option 1, that is) my version goes on to:

She died her hair all purple
She died her hair all pink
She died her hair all polka-dot
And washed it down the sink

I wish I had a penny
I wish I had a dime
I wish I had a boyfriend
Who kissed me all the time

My mom gave me a penny
My dad gave me a dime
My sister gave me a boyfriend
Who kissed me all the time

Then mom took back the penny
And dad took back the dime
My sister took back the boyfriend
And gave me Frankenstein [the scientist? oh, how I kid]

He made me wash the dishes
He made me wash the floors
He made me wash his underwear
So I kicked him out the door

I kicked him out of London
I kicked him out of France
I kicked him out of the U.S.A.
Without his underpants!




Oh god, that was painful to type, even.
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From:markm
Date:August 9th, 2005 01:38 am (UTC)
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I remember it as Miss Lucy. Probably a regional thing.
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From:mschlock
Date:August 8th, 2005 06:14 pm (UTC)
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I hope this is a relatively common rhyme else I'm going to have to admit that I remembered that one from The Babysitter's Club.
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From:semer
Date:August 9th, 2005 04:01 am (UTC)
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Looking back, I'm so depressed about how many of those books I read. They were just horrible. Even then I could always predict exactly what would happen, and I still read them. Ugh.
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From:mschlock
Date:August 9th, 2005 04:51 am (UTC)
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I revisited a few of them as an adult and they weren't nearly as horrifying as Sweet Valley High. Oh, lord, SVH.

Obviously, they still weren't great literature.
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From:eeka13
Date:August 9th, 2005 10:14 pm (UTC)
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Oh, they were terrible! What cracked my shit up, even when I was like 10, was that the characters were SO one-dimensional and stereotypical, yet she'd try to throw in diversity and disability and dysfunction issues. WTF?
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From:eeka13
Date:August 9th, 2005 10:14 pm (UTC)
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OMG you actually found the page. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
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From:markm
Date:August 9th, 2005 01:39 am (UTC)
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I remember the third line as 'wash it off with bubblegum'
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From:eeka13
Date:August 9th, 2005 10:29 pm (UTC)

PFFFFFTTTTT

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From:violacat
Date:August 13th, 2005 01:37 am (UTC)
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I vaguely remember it as "wash it clean with gasoline", but I'll buy eeka's version just as well.

Or anyone else's, really. ;)
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From:malconstant
Date:August 13th, 2005 10:51 pm (UTC)
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Sauerkraut sounds right to me. But then, maybe I just like the word sauerkraut.

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