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June 23rd, 2005


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08:37 am - HOW TO START AN EPIDEMIC IN 3 EASY STEPS
  1. CONGRESS: Hey, you know, we think the most pressing issue in America today is that horrible flag-burning epidemic. It's about time someone put their foot down and that foot is us. Let's pass an amendment outlawing flag desecration.
    AMERICAN PEOPLE: Wait, what epidemic?


  2. REACTIONARIES: WHAT NO WAY SCREW YOU FOR TAKING AWAY OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH, RAAAR HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO, WE'RE GONNA BURN THIS FLAG RIGHT HERE, HA HA, TAKE THAT, OH AND HERE'S ANOTHER FLAG WE'RE BURNING, HOW YOU LIKE US NOW
    MEDIA: Click! Click! Snap! Snap! Thanks, guys! These pictures'll be on every front page tomorrow morning!


  3. AMERICAN PEOPLE: Wow, look at all that flag-burning out there. It's like an epidemic! Somebody, do something!
    BUSH: I wholeheartedly support the constitutional amendment to outlaw flag desecration. Say, who put all that oil on this incline?
    CONGRESS: Sometimes, it's so easy, we're ashamed of ourselves.

(11 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:tansu
Date:June 23rd, 2005 01:17 pm (UTC)
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See Cohen, S. (1972) Folk Devils and Moral Panics (London: MacGibbon and Kee) and
Hall, S., Critcher, C. Jefferson, T. & Roberts, B. (1978) Policing the Crisis: Mugging, the State and Law and Order. (London: Macmillan)
From:archangelsk
Date:June 23rd, 2005 01:27 pm (UTC)
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Well, you know. In all other respects, Duke Cunningham is a dead man (relatively) moments away from being cut to ribbons. He has to grasp at something. I wonder if he's flipped off any WWII veterans lately.
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From:derspatchel
Date:June 23rd, 2005 01:36 pm (UTC)
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This wasn't so much a last grasp of a man hanging off a cliff as it was a cliffhanging man firing a rocket-powered grappling hook right into the goolies of a curious onlooker at the observation area, then letting go.

I mean, seriously, Duke's committing hara-kiri right there on the House floor with an exploding katana and a robe made of thinly-spread plastic explosives.

(Tune in tomorrow when I make more batshit insane analogies in the name of humor!)
From:archangelsk
Date:June 23rd, 2005 01:43 pm (UTC)
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Aw, damn. I was hoping for the Rabid Poodle/Gravy Train express to martyrdom! It will be nice to see him go, but jeezus. Somebody else that we hate, whether we know for sure who it is or not, is consolidating power. Cunningham, Frist? Dying. Lott? Dead! Niedermeyer? DEAD!
(Deleted comment)
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From:derspatchel
Date:June 23rd, 2005 02:02 pm (UTC)
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The drunken dad, of course. He was a Canadian senator, you know:
WHY WAS THE SLOBBISH DAD, MR. PREVERT, A SENATOR?
Contempt for politicians crosses all borders, but in Canada, where the show was made, Lance Prevert being a Senator has a special meaning. The Canadian Senate, unlike its United States counterpart, has virtually no power and is appointed by the government, not elected. Therefore, Senate seats are given by the party in power to its longest-serving cronies, and the stereotypical Canadian senator is a lewd, slobbish party politician who is years past his prime and whose Senate attendance record is shaky to say the least. Except for the age, this description fits Lance Prevert like a glove.

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From:eeka13
Date:June 23rd, 2005 05:24 pm (UTC)
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HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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From:arielblue
Date:June 23rd, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
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There was an episode of West Wing in which Pres. Bartlet squashes down an anti-flag-burning amendment by asking some rather pointed questions about how if such an amendment was being proposed there must be an epidemic of the stuff happening and where was it and how could he have missed it and so on. It was pretty priceless. I need to dig up that episode and get the exact text of it because when I first saw it I was all "oh haw haw this is so funny good thing it will never happen in real life."

Sigh.
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From:olethrosdc
Date:June 23rd, 2005 03:19 pm (UTC)
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Hilarious
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From:rfreebern
Date:June 23rd, 2005 05:53 pm (UTC)
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Wait, somebody poured some precious $60-a-barrel oil on a slope rather than putting it in their SUV? The fool!
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From:bedfull_o_books
Date:June 23rd, 2005 06:49 pm (UTC)
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Hah!
(Deleted comment)
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From:semer
Date:June 23rd, 2005 08:22 pm (UTC)
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That'd better be a BLONDE white girl, there...

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