August 14th, 2003
|09:47 am - a fine dialogue.|
Written on Eschwa in response to others saying "Well, maybe I should go see Gigli, I mean, it can't be all that bad, can it?"
Aug 14, 2003 7:45 from Spatch
I feel like I'm a parent trying to explain to the kid why you shouldn't stick a
metal knife in the electrical socket.
"Don't do it, OK? It'll hurt you real bad. It's dangerous."
"It can't be that bad! Maybe it tingles real good before you get electrocuted."
"No. It doesn't 'tingle real good' before you get electrocuted. If it did,
word would get around and more people would be doing it."
"Well can't I do it anyway?"
"No. Listen, it's just a stupid idea. You've come up with far better ideas in
your stocking feet."
"But I really really really wanna know what's so bad about it!"
"Well, listen. Do you remember the time you licked that 9-volt battery?"
"Oh yeah, and you told me I couldn't have any toys that ran on batteries
"Sure did. Now, do you remember how you felt after you licked it?"
"You mean after I licked it quickly or after I kept it on my tongue for 20
"After you kept it on your tongue for 20 seconds."
"I felt kinda sore. And I couldn't feel my tongue for a while. And I don't
think I can taste salt again yet."
"Well, that's what sticking the knife in the socket will do, only multiply that
by a hundred."
"I thought I told you not to use that language inside."
"Er, sorry. I'll go out and holler it now."
"That's a good lad."
[Movie Cinemaddicts> msg #12615 (2 remaining)]
You know what this reminds me of, more than anything?
Being about eleven, and being at camp, and one of the other girls had just gotten her period for the first time. And a different girl was basically saying that she really wanted to get her period fianlly just to know what it was like.
And the rest of us were basically saying, "Look, it's blood coming out of your privates, it's not that interesting, it's just gross."
Hahaha, nicely done.
I think you should put that in a portfolio and send it to the heads of all the studios.
i would rather have all of that done to me, plus be forced to sit through 24 hours of one scene (you get to pick) from Ishtar being played over and over again, than do it again. (actually, time has been oddly kind to Ishtar but let's not go there right now.)
it was funny in so many unintentional ways, yet still so offensive and horrible to watch that i found myself thanking various deities that i saw it for free.
i'd like to blame my friend naomi but after i'd had two beers it sounded like the best idea ever.