It's just this little chromium switch, here... (derspatchel) wrote,
It's just this little chromium switch, here...

[escaped from zug zug] THE GNOME REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN

So once upon a time there was a little gnome named Frotz who was bored with running around Westfall doing things for the stupid humans.

"Oh, hello Frotz!" they'd say, "You're a little gnome with stubby legs who can't run very fast. Say, why don't you walk all the way across three zones to deliver some stupid letter that I should be able to deliver on my own, seeing as how I'm a big person and I even have a goddamn horse, but I'm too lazy to do such menial tasks. Oh, and there's a lovely piece of bread in it for you if you succeed!"

So after going back and forth and back and forth to play mailman for a bunch of whiny "Oh nos I cannot possibly spare any more troops for your battles, go ask Mr. Owl" humans, when all he really wanted to do was hurl fireballs at passing spiders, he decided he'd had enough. He was going to storm Stormwind and smash it from within! And I hayulped!

Being an engineer, Frotz knew exactly what he had to do in order to make explosives. I think he got this recipe off the Internet and everything.

Our first target was right outside the city gates! General Marcus once returned the salutes of those loyal to him, but he's grown too big for his britches and now refuses to acknowledge your presence at all. Well let's see who acknowledges who now! Bomb! For you! In the face!

Then we went to bomb the bishop. After a moment of euphemistic giggling, we actually did throw the bomb at Stormwind City's most venerable religious patriarch. And those stupid paladins nearby, they just stood around doing nothing. Probably too embarassed by the fact that the new Lightforge armor makes 'em look like a school bus.

Then it was on to Stormwind Keep, where bombs were hurled at the Royal Family. But don't worry. The woman on the left is actually a dragon and I think the little boy is actually a robot named DARYL.

Our mission of smashing the fascist human police state complete, we sat down and had a nice refreshing beverage.

Then we got down with our bad selves.

Tags: postcards from azeroth

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