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March 22nd, 2005


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07:46 pm
000. Those Axe deodorant ads currently infesting the Harvard Square T stop have got to go. I've seen smug ads before, but never have I had ads actually go "nyer" at me while I wait on the platform. It's a pity and a shame laws regarding truth in advertising exist, because it would be simpler if these posters would just forego any clever attempts at innuendo ("This is not a tunnel of love", "The subway poles are not for dancing") and instead scream, in big block letters, "HEY GANG IF YOU TRY THIS PRODUCT YOU WILL HAVE SEX!" I'm a big fan of taking things to their literal extreme. Makes life much easier.

001. I'd hope the MBTA was getting oodles of money for these full-on station ad conversions (Downtown Crossing's been Nothin But iPods! for months now) but it doesn't appear that way. While the T has graciously staved off a fare hike they threatened would come in 2007, they are going ahead and axing the Nite Owl bus service, which existed to let people get home after, say, 1 AM on the weekends. With the abolishment of the Nite Owl, Boston will be officially (and I say this without hyperbole, folks, studies have been done) the Worst City for Late-Night Transit in America. Even Atlanta, who rolls up the sidewalks at 1:30 AM, will be beating us. O Atlanta! O the shame! And they're not even trying! Meanwhile construction on the $750 million unholy spawn of an albatross and a white elephant, otherwise known as the Silver Line, continues apace.

010. In refusing a bid to have a carnival at Assembly Square, Alderman William Roche argued "The location is on the Orange Line, so you're not just getting people from Somerville. You're getting different people of different backgrounds." I can understand others' concerns for gang violence (ever been to Good Times on a weekend night?) but honestly, insinuating that "different people of different backgrounds" aren't from Somerville, the City of Polyglots, is not only incredibly ignorant, but tacky to boot. And what's wrong with difference, Roche-Boy? (By the way, I'm totally sure it's the Somerville elite who are gonna be flockin left and right to those Christmas Tree Shops once they open at Assy Square.)

011. My aunt and uncle mailed me a very nice present; a bottle of homemade red wine they'd been keeping for me since 2001 or so. Perry's been homebrewin since I can remember, but this is the first time he branched out into grapey stuff. I am unwilling and unable to present El Wino Snobbo's opinion on the whole thing, but I can say that A. it is red and B. it don't taste horr'ble, so that means C. I like it. That's all that counts, really. I drank a toast to them for being so nice and thoughtful, and then I drank a toast to the cat, who was busy doing something he shouldn't. Then I drank a toast to Martha because she hadn't had one yet, and I drank a toast to me for drinking all these toasts.

100. I've been drinking a lot of toasts tonight. Let me know if you want one, too!

(15 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:annilita
Date:March 23rd, 2005 01:43 am (UTC)
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AXE is, like, the cheapest "cologne" in the Philipeans. And it comes in spray bottles, like the stuff they put window cleaner in.

Yet, the American morketing establishment has managed to package the cheap, nasty crap in the spray bottle with the promise of sexual intercourse. I believe that that deserves a toast.
[User Picture]
From:betweenstations
Date:March 23rd, 2005 01:45 am (UTC)
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I like cinnamon toast.
From:aussie_nyc
Date:March 23rd, 2005 02:00 am (UTC)
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I would be honoured if you could find an extra toast for me, cos, um, it's less than two weeks after my birthday.
[User Picture]
From:arielblue
Date:March 23rd, 2005 02:04 am (UTC)
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You should drink a toast to the rain that's raining on Indiana, and to the two sleeping cats who are sleeping through the rain that's raining on Indiana. That's either two toasts or three, depending on whether each cat gets his own toast or not (and believe me, they don't share very nicely).
[User Picture]
From:nathanw
Date:March 23rd, 2005 02:26 am (UTC)
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In the department of "red" and "not horrible", are you into "two"-buck chuck, from TJ's?
[User Picture]
From:joenotcharles
Date:March 23rd, 2005 04:36 am (UTC)
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I like your hat.
[User Picture]
From:joenotcharles
Date:March 23rd, 2005 04:36 am (UTC)
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I just assume if I were to wear Axe perfume, girls would recognize it and laugh at me for being so transparent. It's the odourous equivalent of a cheesy pickup line.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:bedfull_o_books
Date:March 23rd, 2005 05:03 pm (UTC)
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I remember with fondness the Greek festival on Danforth that my love and I stumbled onto a couple summers ago.

Love Toronto.

Have to go back.
[User Picture]
From:djsunkid
Date:March 23rd, 2005 06:29 am (UTC)
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Pshh.. You think you've got it bad, how about a city where the busses only run until 11:30? That means if you're a dishwasher at a restaurant that's open until midnight, you're screwed. Welcome to Halifax Canada. Fuck.
From:archangelsk
Date:March 23rd, 2005 02:04 pm (UTC)
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Could you make a bitter and sarcastic toast to the city of Lincoln, where the buses stop at 7:00pm and whose city council continues to debate cuts in service?
From:(Anonymous)
Date:March 23rd, 2005 02:44 pm (UTC)

Keith

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I would like a toast to the way you avoided turning your post into spaghetti code by avoiding GOTO statements.
[User Picture]
From:chitzk0i
Date:March 23rd, 2005 04:24 pm (UTC)
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Re: 000

I can't stand those ads for "Lectric Smooth." If you use our product, ladies will want you to rub your chin on their bosoms!
[User Picture]
From:pecosy
Date:March 23rd, 2005 05:31 pm (UTC)
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Did you drink a toast to innocence? Did you drink a toast to now?
[User Picture]
From:derspatchel
Date:March 23rd, 2005 05:43 pm (UTC)
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ah, Fogelberg.
[User Picture]
From:ctartchick
Date:March 24th, 2005 12:08 am (UTC)
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I would like a toast by proxy, because my medication does not allow me to drink toasts any more myself. Paul says he would like a toast to the fact that his coaster season starts this weekend in Atlanta. I think he's going to have more fun with his "reason to toast" than I am with mine, so make my toast REALLY big. Someone outta enjoy it. ;-)

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