March 11th, 2005
|01:18 am - the great cranberry scare of 1959|
One of the novelty pieces I was able to enjoy from the Dr. Demento show download site was Stan Freberg's scathing 1960 rock & roll industry satire, The Old Payola Roll Blues. In it, a rock & roll producer literally yanks some talentless schmoe off the street and tries to make a rock star out of him. "High School Ooh-Ooh by Clyde Ankle" is then pitched by the sleazy producer, payola-style, to an uninterested disk jockey in a jazz radio station. Eventually good taste wins out, the DJ refuses to take the bribes, the producer gets the heave-ho, and then there's a big swing number trashing the talentless rock & roll clones of the day by blowing them up. Decent stuff, with the usual good ol' Freberg dialogue:
PRODUCER: Now you're gonna go three nights a week for finger-snapping lessons.One line, however, got me wondering. As the producer tries to bribe the DJ into playing the album, he drops a few offers: "Whadya need? Free dental work? A trip to Las Vegas? Pre-1959 cranberries?" Yeah, I get the first two, but what's up with the third? Flew right over my head.
CLYDE ANKLE: Ooh, I've wanted to do that as long as I've been in show business!
PRODUCER: Wait a second. How long you been in show biz?
CLYDE ANKLE: About a minute and a half.
That kind of thing is common, though. Every now and then, when listening to old stuff, you come across a then-current cultural reference that just falls down, egg-like, and lays there in good old 2005. You get it a lot on the Jack Benny Show, for instance: someone will drop something like "Just ask Millie Hornsworth!" as a punchline, and the audience goes nuts. Meanwhile modern-day Spatch is listening and scratching his head going "Millie wha-hey?" A little research reveals (if you're lucky) that Millie Hornsworth was some farmer from Oklahoma who appeared on the Arthur Godfrey show a week before the Jack Benny episode. She must've done something hilarious to be in the public's mind for a week or two. (Today's equivalent, see, would be a joke involving an American Idol contestant. 50 years from now, do you think anybody is really going to remember William Hung?)
But pre-1959 cranberries? What means that? Thankfully Google and "cranberry" and "1959" provided the result, found on this webpage:
9. What was the cranberry scare of 1959?Well, there you go. A little lesson on a historical event I bet you didn't even know had happened, courtesy Stan Freberg. The joke about black-market cranberries is still rather funny even without the historical context, but better understood with one. What I think is even funnier, though, is the fact that we still had politicians with names like Ezra Taft Benson in office as recently as 1959.
On November 9, 1959, Arthur S. Flemming, Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare announced that some cranberries grown in Oregon and Washington State had been found to have been contaminated with aminotriazole, a weed killer that had been found to cause cancer in rats. When questioned, he said that if a housewife is unable to determine the origin of fresh or canned cranberries, "to be on the safe side, she doesn't buy." Cranberries were pulled from grocery shelves and sales dropped precipitously. Coming shortly before Thanksgiving, this caused a crisis in the industry. After testing it was found that very few shipments of cranberries were contaminated. It was also doubtful that aminotriazole, in the amounts likely to be ingested by a human being eating cranberries, presented a real health risk. Both Flemming and Secretary of Agriculture Ezra Taft Benson made a point of announcing that they would have cranberries with their Thanksgiving dinners. By Christmas, large quantities of cranberries were available bearing labels saying that they had either been tested by the Food and Drug Administration or otherwise certified safe. However, the "cranberry scare of 1959" caused damage that it took the cranberry industry many years to recover from. (Source: Contemporary articles in the New York Times.)
Wow! Nice researching, Tex! Now if I could only find out what "pick a finger"
I LOVE Stan Freberg. I have his "Tip of the Freberg" compilation. My absolute favorite is a version of "Old Man River" being butchered by the censor man as it is sung: contractions uncontracted, proper grammar, less offensive word substitutions ("elderly" rather than "old", "perspire" instead of "sweat"), all for the benefit of the "tiny tots" who may be listening and influenced by such horrors. It is still a scream.
"Tote that barge! Lift that bale! You get a littlllll.....
...All right, Mr. Tweedley, get your hand off that buzzer, we know when we're licked."
Still so funny, and so fitting, today.
And a friend of mine flew to Omaha yesterday, so I found myself singing Freberg's "Omaha!" musical to myself all day. Sigh.
"Omaha! Sing out for Omaha! Lift up your throat and shout hooray!
For the geographical center of the USA!"
He don't--doesn't plant taters--potatoes
He doesn't plant cotton--cotting
And thems--these--those that plants them
Are sooooooon forgotting
But Elderly Man River
He just keeps rolling along.
Yes, yes, for the tiny tots. ("Thank you!") And you're right, it's a damn effective piece of satire that works still today.
As far as the "pick a finger" goes, I agree with inky's suggestion that it's a lecherous old man joke, even if the payoff is a bit strange. (Apocrypha of the day: Cary Grant receives telegram from nosy newspaper man, reading HOW OLD CARY GRANT? Replies with OLD CARY GRANT FINE, HOW YOU? Never happened, but Grant loved telling it.)
FWIW, I reckon I have to google about 25 - 30% of the "cultural references" you make in blog posts/cat town etc to make sure I get the joke. I've learnt so, so much more about 1970s-80s American culture as a result :P
It's not wierd when you know he was Mormon. Mormons always have wierd names.
He was actually a member of the 12 Apostles at that point. Usually, they don't work, they just go around speaking and handling church leadership issues, but it was such a high profile job offer that they let him take it. He went on to become the Prophet (aka Pope-dude) of the church.
And this is your Mormon History Lesson for Friday, March 11, 2005.
The Jack Benny Show raises questions like that all the time -- one that kept popping up over and over again in '47, for example, was various characters being asked to become the governor of Georgia, which I had to look up
to understand. Sometimes I'm a step ahead, though, which is fun...having already read about James Petrillo and the 1942 AFM recording ban
, I got the joke when Phil Harris said that when he was buried, RIP would mean "Rest in Petrillo."
It's good to feel smart.