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EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD!

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July 11th, 2003


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08:40 am - Another gem from Allan Sherman
When Benjamin Disraeli was Prime Minister of England,
And good old Queen Victoria was the Queen,
Whenever she would need him for official palace business,
Disraeli, he was nowhere to be seen.
She went down to 10 Downing Street,
The doorbell there she rang,
And when there was no answer, this is what the good Queen sang:

Won't you come home, Disraeli? Won't you come home?
Come home to Queen Victoria
Don't leave that House of Commons and that House of Lords
Just sittin waitin for ya
I'm gettin awful lomesome, cause all I do
Is sit here reading Ethan Frome
Now don't leave me flat,
The key to the palace is under the mat
Disraeli, won't you please come home?

Won't you come home, Disraeli? Won't you come home?
Come home to Queen Victoria
Don't leave that House of Commons and that House of Lords
Just sittin waitin for ya
You claim official business took you away
To Egypt, and Bombay, and Rome
Well, I ain't so certain
Cause you're the nineteenth-century Richard Burton
Disraeli, won't you please
Disraeli, won't you please
Disraeli, won't you please come home?
(I miss you, Dizzy!)
Disraeli, won't you please come home?

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