May 1st, 2007


Dr. Who and the Tentacles of Hen-Tai

I am SO not going to talk about Evolution of the Daleks because honestly if I could go to New New New New New New New New York and get one of them Forget patches, I'd do so in a heartbeat. Ah, sweet bliss! Goodbye six-foot-three pink fleshy one-eyed monster with poorly-wriggling tentacles, hello reclaimed memory space that could be used for, oh, I don't know, memorizing UPC numbers! This bottle of chocolate milk is 75457 71100. Remember that. I know I am! Next time I think 75457 71100, I'm gonna think delicious chocolate milk!

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I don't believe it.
I don't freaking believe it.
Not for one second. Not for one single solitary second.

I mean, iGoogle?! You mean to tell me that name is real and LIVE?!

Well hello and welcome to 1998! Here's your lowercase i prefix, courtesy Apple Computer! Oh no, don't worry, it won't become a much-derided cliche for at least five more years.

Okay, so perhaps it's an attempt to start a movement to bring the vowels back to silly Web2.0 names, but surely there's a better solution than making a throwback to the Good Old Days. The i was supposed to originally stand for INTERNET, wasn't it? I think it was rendered meaningless a couple of years back, but it's especially meaningless when attached to "Google." INTERNET GOOGLE? Okay I'll just use my COMPUTER MOUSE INTERFACE DEVICE and type on my LETTER INPUT MAKING KEYBOARD for to bring up this INTERNET WORLD WIDE WEB WEBPAGE all about INTERNET GOOGLE! In ALL CAPS!

I guess "Do No Evil" still applies, as the customizable front page might could be useful, but I can guarantee you that nobody thought to take "Do No HURRRRRRR" into consideration when coming up with a name.