February 11th, 2007

Spike Dancing The Hula

saved me achin' nose

My musical joys tonight? One song done up two ways.

1. Harry Connick, Jr. arranging it as a New Orleans strut with rolling drums and plenty of horns (with solos for all!)
2. Louis Prima and Gia Maione singing it in Italian with just a hint of tarantell'. (Well, maybe just a bit more than that. You find yourself going "Hey!" at the end of every verse.)

You know, they all said it loud enough, but I'm not so sure about the whole sounding precocious part.

And now the melody will be in my head for the next, oh, five weeks or so.
Typewriter Guy

I am punching this copy in the face

In a Valentine's seafood cooking class from 7 to 8 p.m. Friday ... the Seafood Team Leader at Whole Foods Market will teach you how to make a romantic dish of fish and show you which wines pair with it most yummily.
Attention shoppers: Would whoever just bludgeoned the hell out of the English language please be so kind as to return the tire iron to Automotive? Thank you.

Now there are some word corruptions which can drive an otherwise (presumably) sane person into apoplectic fits -- for instance, I know that if I were to write "A nummy sammich is great when you're preggers!" and actually mean it, I'd be giving the gift of acute myocardial infarction to at least three people on my friends list.

"Yummily" in this case is a double punch to the kidneys because it's a corruption of "yummy", a word I already hate.[0] I think I hate this badverb even more, mostly because it just screams "Rachael Ray" to me. Seriously. It's screaming "RACHAEL RAY! RACHAEL RAY! RACHAEL RAAAAAAAAAAAY!! LET'S PUT SOME EVOO ON THESE SAMMIES! YUMMO!" right in my ear with a deafening high-pitched shriek. Oh god it hurts.

Hmm. Now I hate myself for using the word "badverb" instead of "horrible bastard child of an adjective and the letters L-Y" because, honestly, badverb is... bad. Not even worth a Sniglet. Boy howdy. It's a circus of loathing today and we're passing the savings on to you!

0. with the exception of those adorable wascally Wiggles and their straight-outta-Depeche-Mode song about fruit salad, yummy yummy, which is just too catchy and also slightly menacing.