October 20th, 2006

Uncle Duke

friday mania!

I put two plastic coffee lids on my coffee mug this morning but only one was open. Then I was very confused when I tried to take a sip. Don't do that.

First off, your picture of the day:

A Little Banking Humor Here
A little bank humor here, folks.
No school like the old school.

I see that ITA, one of the few techie companies that isn't all biotech these days, has been putting up new employment ads on the T. I'm not sure if I like the direction of these new ads. The old ones featured those funky brainteaser puzzles, you know, the ones that were perfect for staring at, bleary-eyed, at 7 in the morning. The ads that said "How many six-digit prime numbers do not contain an 8?" or "Write a computer program on the back of your Metro that will take the statistical averages from the last five years of air travel and determine the probability that the next flight from O'Hare to LAX will have at least one piece of misrouted luggage; bonus points if you can determine whether or not that missing luggage will be a golf bag" or "Fill in the grid with numbers from 1 to 9, such that each row and column contains each number from 1 to 9 only once..." no, wait. At any rate, the ads all made the same point: "If you can do this crazy kinda stuff, especially at 7 in the morning, then maybe you can work for us."

These new ads don't have those kinds of puzzles. They don't say "Hey, work for us and solve crazy puzzles all day." What they do seem to say is "Hey, work for us and spend all day staring intently at models of airplanes" because that's what the people in the ads are doing. As I usually travel without my trusty Sharpie, I was unable to give these people suitable thought bubble captions. But I came up with a few good ones, which you are free to use should you feel so inclined:
  • "Hey, the people inside there look like ants."
  • "And what is the deal with airline food, anyway?"
  • "Your puny jet engines are no match for my ATOMIC BREATH and LASER EYES PCHEW PCHEW PCHEW!" (note: you will also need to draw LASER EYES on this one for full effect. And maybe some paratroopers and helicopters and some ninjas on the ground fighting tanks.)
  • "Write an algorithm that will calculate a funny caption for this picture."
Ok I got nothin else I'm tired you take it from here.
Ken Nordine

and now a round of That's Sad, That's Whoa Awesome

Anna Russell, musical comedienne I remember most for her Ring Cycle and Gilbert & Sullivan parodies, has died at the age of 94. I confess I didn't know she'd lived through to the 2000s, as she exists solely in that musical niche of my memory along with Victor Borge and Flanders & Swann, warbling funny tunes with piano accompaniment through pips and pops of vinyl recordings.

That's sad.

On a completely unrelated note, Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock is being developed into a feature-length movie. And who will be executive producer? Ahmet Zappa, of all people.

That's ... whoa. Awesome.