March 1st, 2006

Tom Lehrer is Smug

ding-dong, ding-dong

Here's a handy Red Line translation: "ding-dong, ding-dong, bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt" coming from a busted-ass PA does not mean "This train will be standing in the station for 10 minutes for schedule adjustment."

It means "This train will be standing in the station for 10 minutes with the doors wide open so that all the nice cold air can come in and replace the limited amounts of warm air that the half-broken heater was trying to pump out. For schedule adjustment."

And we all know what 'schedule adjustment' means, anyway: the 9:20 train is so late, we're gonna just pretend it was the 9:35 train all along.

Oh, and hey, good luck installing those Charlie Card turnstiles in South Station, guys. The new turnstiles are all being put on one side of the lobby concourse (to the left if you're coming up from the subway platforms.) The regular turnstiles are still on the right. There's gonna be a lot of confused people being redirected all the way across the concourse.

Unrelated PS: Is anybody still playing Puzzle Pirates on the Midnight ocean anymore? Would your crew enjoy the company of a dude dressed all in green with a turban who just happens to be a superstar bilger? I have a sword. And a house and I bought a piece of driftwood for my house.
It's like this Peanut

Attack of the fake variables

Mr. Spatch's $COMPANY re-signs big contract with $BIGCLIENT (not the client Mr. Spatch deals with, granted, but a very important $BREADANDBUTTER client.)

As a result, everybody in $COMPANY gets a gift check for $100 in celebration.

After working an hour and a half overtime, Mr. Spatch decides a quick and painless disposal of this bonus money is in order, so he goes out and buys $DVD and $VIDEOGAME with enough money left over for a nice dinner at $SUMMERSHACK.

There he drinks $ALE and eats lots of $OYSTERS and $CHOWDER.

For dessert, he had $BANANASFOSTER which was served in a $SILVERGRAVYBOAT.

He feels very much like $DIAMONDJIMBRADY right about now. Or perhaps even $BOSSTWEED, although he is missing a $MUSTACHE to twirl and $NEWYORKCITY over which to rule.