February 24th, 2006

Tom Lehrer is Smug

(no subject)

The little packet of string cheese I got today has the following message for us all:
SAFETY FIRST! OPEN WITH HANDS, NOT TEETH

The bottle of apple juice warns me:
DO NOT REUSE
and also:
SE HABLA ESPANOL
But that's the only Spanish on the bottle.

The chocolate milk bottle advises:
KEEP REFRIGERATED

Sadly, the box of paper clips has no rules or warnings, though it helpfully tells me the clips are ZINC-COATED. There's not enough room either to write in your own caveats, such as NOT FOR USE IN ELECTRICAL SOCKETS. So consider yourself warned: if you use these paper clips, you're taking your life into your own hands.