December 26th, 2005

Toonces the Driving Cat

(no subject)

The cat had himself a very good Christmas, I believe. Mom sent him a package of cat treats and a crinkly catnip Artemus Clyde Frog. I don't think Mom knew how much frogs are liked in this house, so we chalked it up to holiday serendipity. The back of the package says "Absolutely Tested On Animals!" The package also claims it contains "ZOOM AROUND THE ROOM Brand Catnip" which, I am sure you will agree, is just what Captain Entropy needs.

When not licking his frog, he's busily tormenting the little Lego snowman which Mom included in her care package. I think he's got it in for that snowman. There's a zillion other things on the dining room table right now, but he takes special care to single the snowman out for special torture. I guess I should take heart in the fact that he's got it in for the least irreparable thing on the table; he could have just as easily targeted the ceramic reindeer-in-bathing-trunks-and-innertube ornament or the sand dollars (did I mention Mom lives in Florida?)

Mom also sent me the stocking that Grandma Helen knitted for me when I was a cranky pflaumekind. Her tradition was to knit stockings for every grandchild after they were born, so they'd have a nice first Christmas with a red and green stocking with their name on top and everything. Mine is the first of its kind, being the oldest grandchild and all. I think Grandma managed to knit stockings for every single grandchild, all 10 of us, before the strokes got to her fingers. She was a tireless knitter. When I was 9 or 10 she knitted a Tom Baker Dr. Who scarf for me, all twelve feet of it, from a pattern I think we received from the local PBS station. But since she knew my little brothers would be jealous and rightly so, she knitted Dr. Who scarves for them as well. That's thirty-six feet, and those scarves hung off us like a leash behind a loose puppy, but they were our Dr. Who scarves and they were cool.

I wasn't going to say anything about the emotional aspects of this season, because I don't like it, but I did get to watch A Wish for Wings that Work on Saturday night and, as expected, sobbed like a baby. Oh, Opus, you got your wish after all! Then I watched A Christmas Story two and a half times on Sunday and laughed until again I had tears in my eyes. It always starts around the "show Mommy how the piggies eat" scene and continues all the way to the end. It's that cathartic, cleansing, Leo Buscaglia laughing, only without so much hugging. So this weekend was rather salty and damp, all things considered.
Tom Lehrer is Smug

(no subject)

The three cardinal trapezoidal formations hereto made orientable in our diagram by connecting the various points H-I-G-K, P-E-G-Q, and L-M-N-O, creating our geometric configurations which have no properties, but with location... are equal to the described triangle C-A-B, quintuplicated.

Therefore, it is also the five triangles, composing the aforementioned N-I-G-H each, are equal to the triangle CAB in this geometric concept! Therefore, in a like manner, the geometric metaphors can derive a repeated vectoral sum!

This was your assignment! And I would like to see the results. Please, take them out!
RIP Vincent Schiavelli. You may not recognize the name, but you'll recognize the face. And as the eighty zillion other roles he'd played over the years, including the math teacher quoted above from Better Off Dead.

And he was only 57. Criminy, he looked decades older'n that.