October 11th, 2005

Tom Lehrer is Smug


I pulled a splinter out of my finger last night.

Rather, I received a splinter from the broom closet door so I ran it under warm water, then carefully picked away enough skin around the Point of Entry so I could get a fingernail under the offending bit o' wood and pull it out whole.

I don't claim to be hardcore, but that core was about as hard as it's been for quite some time. I felt like I was in an episode of Lost or something, ok.
Tom Lehrer is Smug

in which Mr. Spatch does not get his Pho

1. Mr. Spatch leaves work at 6:30 and heads to Chinatown for some tasty Pho.
2. Mr. Spatch passes by the Opera House on the way to tasty Pho.
3. A whim spots Mr. Spatch, points and hollers "SEIZE HIM!"
4. Suitably seized by a whim, Mr. Spatch toodles up to the box office.
5. "Hello Mr. Box Office Mans!" says Mr. Spatch. "Any cheap tickets for tonight?"
6. "Why yes, Mr. Spatch!" Mr. Box Office Mans (who is actually a woman) says. "Here is a ticket in the upper upper up-up-up balcony for only twenty-five dollars!"
7. Cha-ching! goes the cash register.
8. Mr. Spatch enjoys the sumptuous lobby and amazing staircases of the Opera House, formerly B.F. Keith's Theatre, before the show.
9. The auditorium of the Opera House is also greatly enjoyed, especially the fresco of the women al fresco.
10. By the time the lights dim to start the show, it is clear that there is not a full house tonight! Many of the people in the upper upper up-up-up balcony spontaneously get up and move down to the mezzanine.
11. So does Mr. Spatch, securing himself a $60 seat for $25.
12. You would've done the same, you cheap bastard, don't deny it.
13. It is here, in this fashion, that Mr. Spatch enjoys the wonderful music, great dancing and hilarious comedy of the Tony Award-winning Hairspray.
14. Featuring Jim J. Bullock as Wilbur Turnblad!
15. "Golly," muses Mr. Spatch, "Had I woken up this morning and told myself I would be less than 100 feet away from Jim J Bullock in eight hours, I would have slapped myself silly and told myself to stop being such a doofball!"
16. Mr. Bullock is suitably amusing in a heterosexual role, the actor playing Edna Turnblad (understudy of Harvey's from Broadway) is very good and manages to break Mr. Bullock up at one point, the actress playing Penny Pingleton is pretty darn cute and gets weird things to do during musical numbers such as wander around wondering why everybody's dancing, and Tracy herself is just a great bundle of enthusiastic dancing.
17. The sets are also very nicely done with insane perspective.
18. Mr. Spatch also dutifully applauds John Waters' cameo when he realizes what's going on.
19. No, Mr. Spatch was not also less than 100 feet from Mr. Waters this evening, but his voice was heard at one point.
20. Sorry for any spoilers.
21. So all in all it was a great evening at the musical theater place.
22. This is how Mr. Spatch sees musicals.
23. This is not, however, how Mr. Spatch gets Pho.
24. The End.