August 18th, 2005

Make Mine Moxie

Nantucket Nectars Caps courtesy Mr. Grog & Mr. Spatch

Mr. Grog: "It costs way too much to live in Nantucket. Don't even bother, mortals."
Mr. Spatch: "Chip's back from the mainland, Estelle, and he brought more port."
"Hyannis is for lovers."
"...but Hyannisport is for drunks."
"Nantucket's official name is Nantucket-In-The-Sea."
"Nantucket's original name was Myrtle's Vineyard, but changed under threat of lawsuit from Martha."
"Nantucket is in a trial separation from the rest of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."
"Contrary to popular belief, the Man From Nantucket actually lived in East Yarmouth."
"Legend has it that Western Massachusetts actually does exist, but no one has ever felt the need to go there to verify the claim."
"An anagram of TOM AND TOM is TO MANDOM, T, which is how Tom and Tom toast each other with every new flavor."
"In the upcoming feature-length film Nantucket Nectars: The Movie, Tom and Tom are portrayed by Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, respectively."
"Vince Vaughn will play Nantucket Softball All-Star Steve Clements, while Will Ferrell will make a cameo as the boat Allserve."
"With Christopher Walken as Mitt Romney."

(we ran out of Orange Mango at that point)
Howard Beale

Get your "Get your joke on" joke on

Big ups to Boston's The Dig, which strikes a blow for humanity this week by seeking to help do away with the hipster cliche "get your ____ on" (popularized, it is said, by the Missy Elliot song "Get Ur Freak On" or some such spelling.) Now how might a free weekly spearhead this noble and worthy campaign? Well, as explained in the editor's note, "When you want a kid to stop smoking, you make him smoke til he pukes." So the staff of The Dig pledged to shove as many occurrences of the phrase into this week's issue as they could. And by gum, they made good.

Almost every headline is a variant on "Get your _____ on." Every column line. Every entertainment calendar category ("Get your comedy/improv on.") Even the crossword puzzle, guest-starring Missy Elliot, has clues such as "River. Get your Louvre on." Almost everything except the Adult listings (Wow! I finally have a legit reason to read 'em!) and Classifieds. It's amusing on the first few pages, but what good's comedy that's not based on overkill? After the first fifty iterations, things get downright ludicrous. The joke would be at home in a college paper, but no college paper would have the comedy stones to follow through for the entire issue. Only one or two key placements after the initial setup, and that's it.

The Dig is always an enjoyable, if snarky read, and this issue is even more so. Good on them.