June 23rd, 2005

Tom Lehrer is Smug

HOW TO START AN EPIDEMIC IN 3 EASY STEPS

  1. CONGRESS: Hey, you know, we think the most pressing issue in America today is that horrible flag-burning epidemic. It's about time someone put their foot down and that foot is us. Let's pass an amendment outlawing flag desecration.
    AMERICAN PEOPLE: Wait, what epidemic?


  2. REACTIONARIES: WHAT NO WAY SCREW YOU FOR TAKING AWAY OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH, RAAAR HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO, WE'RE GONNA BURN THIS FLAG RIGHT HERE, HA HA, TAKE THAT, OH AND HERE'S ANOTHER FLAG WE'RE BURNING, HOW YOU LIKE US NOW
    MEDIA: Click! Click! Snap! Snap! Thanks, guys! These pictures'll be on every front page tomorrow morning!


  3. AMERICAN PEOPLE: Wow, look at all that flag-burning out there. It's like an epidemic! Somebody, do something!
    BUSH: I wholeheartedly support the constitutional amendment to outlaw flag desecration. Say, who put all that oil on this incline?
    CONGRESS: Sometimes, it's so easy, we're ashamed of ourselves.